WELCOME to MONDAY June 5, 2023
Here’s The Story……
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.” The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday, lads?””Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, hire a car, and drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees. “Ah, England!” says the bartender. “Wonderful Country…the history, the beer, the culture…” “Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh, Jim? And we can’t stand the English; they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.”
“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.
“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Taco Bell just announced that it will be adding beer to the menu at certain restaurants in
Canada. It’s the first time that going to Taco Bell will lead to getting
drunk and not the other way around.” -James Corden
“A man in Oregon walked away with minor injuries after he fell asleep in a dumpster and
ended up in a trash compacter. It raises a lot of questions, and the
answer to all of them is tequila.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Expedia released their rankings of the most annoying drivers in America. For the 15th year
in a row, the most annoying driver on the road is every driver but you. The survey says the
least popular passengers are backseat drivers. I would have said carjackers.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
“Jim, why don’t you play golf with Steve anymore?” asked a friend.
“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” Jim asked.
“Well, no, I suppose not,” admitted the friend.
“Neither will Steve,” replied Jim. 😳😳😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“My love, stay strong and you will do well in life. I love you and my children deeply. Today and tomorrow let each day grow and grow. Keep smiling and never give up even when things get you down. So in closing my love, tonight tuck my children in bed warmly. Tell them I love them, then hug them for me and give them both a kiss goodnight for daddy.”
Answer: Black Hawk Down!
This is the voiceover narration during the closing scene in the 2001 war movie “Black Hawk Down” directed by Ridley Scott. It is spoken by actor Johnny Strong who portrayed Randy Shughart, a Medal of Honor recipient for his role in Operation Gothic Serpent at the Battle of Mogadishu in October 1993, that is depicted in the film. Shughart’s medal however, was given posthumously, as he was killed in the process of attempting to rescue his downed comrades.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“No, no, no, no. I’m too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you
stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock, for Christ’s sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
There are 11 body parts that have only 3 letters (no slang allowed). What are they?
Answer: 1. Arm
- Leg
- Ear
- Eye
- Lip
- Gum
- Rib
- Jaw
- Toe
- Hip
- Gut
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are five movie titles. However, they have been rephrased, and it is your job to figure them out.
Note: The capitalization in the following phrases is the same as it would be in the actual title. Good Luck!
- Realm of the Land of angels and saints
- The Ruler over the Hoops and circlets
- Dignity and Bias
- Vacation in Italy’s capital
- Artist and scientist Leonardo’s Cipher
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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