WELCOME to MONDAY October 7, 2023

ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid
parking tickets for its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they’ll pay the
fines right away if they we send them our bank account number, our PIN, and
our mother’s maiden name.” -Seth Meyers

“A New York fitness expert has released an exercise book for nuns called, ‘Changing
Habits: The Sister’s Workout.’ The Vatican rejected the original title,
‘Nuns of Steel.'” –Conan O’Brien 😁

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious
little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have any of the items you
plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”
The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.” 😳😳😎

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Come on, it’s so big – I mean, how can you lose something so big?”
“Don’t worry about the story’s goofiness. A sensible one would have had us all in the cooler,”
his unexpected co-star whispers, paying close attention to all comings and goings and patterns of each.

Answer: “Field of Dreams”
“Field of Dreams” (1989) ranks right up there, according to most sources, as one of the best sports films of all time but, really, baseball is only the glue that holds it together. The film is entirely about dreams, redemption, righting past wrongs, hope and, of course, the notion that “if you build it, they will come”. Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) intends to build it, a field of dreams whereupon he hopes to not only meet Shoeless Joe Jackson but also, just maybe, to finally get to play that boyhood game of ‘catch’ with his long-dead father. In a jiffy, he turns his Iowa cornfield into a magnetic stadium of magic, a farm he stands to lose if he doesn’t get busy paying his bills and forget about baseball and the players of it. The quote refers to the size of his real estate but his intentions are much larger.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do…” Apparently this speaker feels the need to discuss the benefits of designated purpose(s) and little else?
The second speaker, much more lively by a mile, reports: “Give it up old man, you can’t fight evolution, I was built for speed!”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same,
except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) an Old Norse poem
1b) a wheel spoke
1c) an unusually small animal

2a) to give way
2b) a pasture
2c) to handle

3a) a small territorial division of a country
3b) an artillery piece
3c) a deep valley with high steep sides

4a) a hut
4b) to strike with surprise or horror
4c) a husk

ANSWER: 1) rune, rung, runt
2) yield, field, wield
3) canton, cannon, canyon
4) shack, shock, shuck

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
My work is based on give and take
I can make a difference by a hand shake
The older I get the smaller I grow
And my best friend is my worst foe

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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