WELCOME to WEDNESDAY October 9, 2023

Here’s The Story….
A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel
when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the
lid and was astonished when a genie sprang from the container and granted him
3 wishes. Steinfeld wished for enormous wealth, huge land holdings and a bevy
of beautiful wives. All wishes were granted, but on one condition. Never again in
his life could the anthropologist get a haircut or shave. To do so would mean instant
imprisonment in the same urn in which the genie had been imprisoned. All went well
during the first few years of his lavish lifestyle, but his beard and long hair became
more and more of a problem. One day, during a moment of weakness and desperation
he ran to the bathroom, grabbed some scissors and began cutting off his beard. Immediately
his fortunes vanished, and he found himself trapped in the urn lying in the desert sand.
The moral of this story? “A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.” ☹☹😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years.
I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
—Rodney Dangerfield

“I used to sell furniture for a living.
The trouble was, it was my own.”
—Les Dawson

“There’s nothing wrong with you that an
expensive operation can’t prolong.”
—Surgeon (Graham Chapman), Monty Python’s Flying Circus

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
He was an inventor of note. He created a big shoe with a phone in the heel.
Now, he thought he could use a phone whenever he wanted. He made several
more so that he could have several shoes with phones in the house. One day,
an emergency came up and he needed a phone bad. Would you believe it,
he couldn’t find a single phone boot.

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I despise rapists. For me, you’re somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates
at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty. But, in your case, I’ll make an exception.”

Answer: Con Air!
“Con Air” is about a group of convicts who take over an airplane. Alabama had just opened a supermax prison designed to hold the “worst of the worst” of the country’s convicts. One of the prisoners managed to start a fire while the plane was in mid air, and this was the opportunity the cons needed to take the plane. Cyrus Grissom, played by John Malkovich, said this rather sarcastically after meeting Johnny 23 while the prisoners were still being loaded into the plane. Johnny was a notorious rapist. This quote showed that even the most hardened criminals are disgusted by rapists, thus showing Grissom still had a bit of a heart.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Now we’re even. I have done you wrong, and you’ve stabbed me twice with forks.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
I’m someone you love.

Exchange my head and tail,
To examine me in detail;

My second be my tail,
Then I will have guts to tell;

My head be taken off,
Still you can’t stop me in hearing your bluff.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub.”

Okay, here’s your test:

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon.”
What was the director’s response?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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