WELC0ME to FRIDAY FEBRUARY 2. 2024

Hillbilly computer terms
Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don’t add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin’.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin’ too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting’ home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when it’s below 15 below.
Screen: What ‘cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That’s what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What’s left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred’s around.
Modem: What ‘cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix’s wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin’ utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C’mon in.
Random Access Memory: You can’t remember whatcha’ paid for
that new rifle when your wife asks. 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a
single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

I refuse to join any club that would have
me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along and trying
to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree
with you.” – Robin Williams

“The difference between stupidity and genius is
that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“Behind every great man is a woman
rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“A day without sunshine is like, you
know, night.” – Steve Martin

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little
stitious.” – Michael Scott (The Office)

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Miscellaneous terms
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“In VIETNAM, dinner was always a big thing”

Answer: “Goodfellas”
In this quote from “Goodfellas”, Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) reflects about one of the few high points that life behind bars has. This quote, continued with details of how the inmates prepared food and how each contributed a special skill, is also spoken as a self-reflecting voice-over, over the images of the food being prepared, just after Henry has submitted to being taken to jail.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My mama always said LIFE was like a box of chocolates”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Five people (who vaguely know each other and are really eccentric) have a great passion for music. Each of them plays a different instrument. However, they are constantly forgetting each other’s first and last names, the instrument they play, their ages and their professions. Your job is to figure out everyone’s full names, their ages, their favourite instrument and their jobs.
1.No person’s first name shares an initial with his/her last name.
2.Allen is always feeling sleepy because her neighbour has a habit of playing his drums in the middle of the night.
3.Neither of the women’s ages (who play the guitar and the piano) are an even number.
4.The flutist is older than Joseph, who is older than Ivan, who is not the youngest.
5.Michael, the scientist, is the oldest person in the group.
6.Angela’s last name makes Daniel feel hungry.
7.Joseph is 12 years older than the doctor, who is 26 years younger than the teacher.
8.Most people do not agree with the engineer (who is half as old as Coleman) that he plays the bagpipes excellently.
9.Julia’s career involves educating young minds.
10.The lawyer lives next to Julia Allen.
11.The pianist is not 21 years old.

ANSWER: Full name/ Age/ Profession/ Instrument
Angela Bacon, 21, Doctor, Guitar
Daniel Joseph, 33, Lawyer, Drums
Ivan Morton, 26, Engineer, Bagpipes
Julia Allen, 47, Teacher, Piano
Michel Coleman, 52, Scientist, Flute

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed into a two word phrase that fits one of the definitions. Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word. Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob).

Words: archery, cavalier, foresight, tourniquet, watercress

Definitions:
an equine donated as a present
covert military conflicts
newton-meter or pound-foot
to perceive a wail
volcanic grain

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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