WELC0ME to TUESDAY MARCH 5. 2024
Here’s The Story….
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus
were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two
identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular,
especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extraordinary guy
so he was dubbed “Special Ross”. After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard.
Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him “Leonard Cheeks”. Finally,
all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched.
What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them:
“Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin’ bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“If life were predictable it would cease to be life,
and be without flavor.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The whole secret of a successful life is to find out
what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.”– Henry Ford
“In order to write about life first you
must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway
“The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared
of anyone or anything.”– Frank Sinatra
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes
along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves
against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back
to their business. Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are
knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane
comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just
say “moo.” Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, “Moo?
What’s the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you
just stand there unharmed ?” “Isn’t it obvious?” the bull replies.
“We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“He wouldn’t know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga.”
Answer: “Dirty Dancing”
Patrick Swayze played Johnny Castle in “Dirty Dancing” (1987). Neil (Lonny Prince) was the grandson of the owner of the resort where Johnny was a dance instructor. He just came in on Johnny and Baby. (Jennifer Grey). He assumed that Johnny was giving her dance lessons. So he interrupted to tell Johnny that Johnny should do the final dance of the season to the Pachenga instead of to the Mamba. Johnny was upset because he had ideas for the final dance, but Neil wouldn’t even listen to him. So he told Baby (he and Baby were not doing lessons, per se, they were at this point in the movie, a couple), “He wouldn’t know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“That means the baby stays here and you sit!”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
There are three brothers: Al, Ben, and Carl. Two of the three brothers are boxers. Here are some facts:
- The shorter of Al and Ben is the older boxer.
- The younger of Ben and Carl is the shorter boxer.
- The taller of Al and Carl is the younger boxer.
Which brother is not a boxer?
ANSWER: Carl is not a boxer.
From fact 1, we know that Carl is not the older boxer.
From fact 3, we know that Ben is not the younger boxer.
We now have three possible scenarios:
- Al is the younger boxer and Ben is the older boxer.
- Ben is the older boxer and Carl is the younger boxer.
- Al is the older boxer and Carl is the younger boxer.
If scenario 1 is true, fact 1 tells us that Ben is shorter than Al.
If scenario 2 is true, fact 1 tells us that Ben is shorter than Al; fact 3 tells us that Carl is taller than Al, making Ben shorter than Carl.
If scenario 3 is true, fact 3 tells us that Carl is taller than Al.
We can now expand our three scenarios:
- Al is the younger, taller boxer, and Ben is the older, shorter boxer.
- Ben is the older, shorter boxer, and Carl is the younger, taller boxer.
- Al is the older, shorter boxer, and Carl is the younger, taller boxer.
Scenario 2 cannot be possible because it contradicts fact 2 by making the younger of Ben and Carl the taller boxer.
Fact 2 also tells us that Al is not the shorter boxer, so scenario 3 cannot be possible, either.
Therefore, scenario 1 is true, which means that Carl is not a boxer.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
The below classified ads were spotted in this week’s newspaper. They all share a common feature.
What is that common feature, and who is each ad’s author?
- Crimson cloaked young female seeks protection services. Task include food courier service. Outdoor experience a plus. Inquire with grandmother.
- For Sale: 20 mattresses. Like new, used only once. Each shares common irregularity, not discernible by most. Make offer.
- For Sale: Two adjacent lots. Located near new brick housing. Land can be cleared of debris upon request. Will build to suit.
- Debris removal services required. Have large amounts of vegetation that requires cut up and removal. Please call for details. Gold or specialty hybrid seeds available for trade.
- Lost: 1 Slipper, translucent in color. Sentimental value. Last seen, yesterday before midnight. Please leave message with stepmother.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 