WELC0ME to FRIDAY MARCH 22. 2024
Doctor’s Reports….
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 99 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. - Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
- Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Throw your heart over the
fence and the rest will follow.”
–Norman Vincent Peale
“Beware of the young doctor
and the old barber.”
–Benjamin Franklin
“The ships hung in the sky in
much the same way that bricks don’t.”
–Douglas Adams
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The Top Signs You’re Out of Shape…..
- You’ve ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.
- People at work only refer to you by saying, “Hey fatso!”
- You’ve thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.
- Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.
- Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more
if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic. - You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin’ To The Oldies.
- You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.
- Watching Rocky 7 is your idea of a workout video.
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“What do they think I am, dumb or something? Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!”
Answer: Singin’ in the Rain!
“Singin’ in the Rain” was a 1952 musical movie built around the back catalogue of songs of its producer, Arthur Freed, and his song-writing partner Nacio Herb Brown. The movie is set in the late 1920s, and shows the impact of Warner Brothers’ “talkie” picture, “The Jazz Singer” on a rival studio. Gene Kelly and Jean Hagen play Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont, massive stars of silent movies, but whose initial attempt to make a “talkie”, “The Duelling Cavalier”, fails at a test screening – Lockwood is a ham, Lamont’s speaking voice isn’t as beautiful as she is, and the technology lets them down. Lockwood, his friend and musical partner Cosmo Brown (Donald O’Connor), and Lockwood’s girlfriend Kathy Selden (Debbie Reynolds) hatch a scheme – make it into a musical, “The Dancing Cavalier” and use Kathy’s voice for Lina’s dialogue and singing. But Lina mustn’t know!
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“That’s criminal! That kid, that kid is back on the escalator again!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!
ANSWER: Habit!
Remove h – a bit remains.
Remove a – bit remains.
Remove b – it remains.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
D
N
A
T
S , D
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 