WELC0ME to FRIDAY MARCH 29. 2024
Here’s The Story….
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”
The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read
aloud the text message they received, in response.
Here are some of the replies:
- Who the hell is this?
- Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
- Yeah, and I love you too. What’s up with you?
- What now? Did you wreck the car again?
- I don’t understand what you mean?
- What the hell did you do now?
- You’re kidding, right?
- Don’t beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
- Am I dreaming?
- If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
- I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day. (my favorite)
- Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she? 😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I was so naive as a kid I used to
sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
–Johnny Carson
“The two most common elements in
the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
–Harlan Ellison
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong. While passing through a Jewish neighborhood
he was surprised to see a synagogue. He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese
rabbi and a Chinese congregation. The service was touching.
As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the door greeting his congregants. When our
Brooklyn friend came up, the Chinese rabbi said….”You’re a Jew?”
“Yes, I’m Jewish,” replied the Brooklynite.
“Funny,” said the Chinese rabbi. “You don’t look it.” 😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.”
Answer: Moonraker!
“Moonraker” (1979) was the eleventh in the “James Bond” movie franchise. It starred Roger Moore, in his fourth outing as the British secret agent with a license to kill. At this stage, Moore was over 50, and played the part more for laughs, with a script rich in one-liners and double-entendres. Michael Lonsdale played the villain, Hugo Drax, who had a plot to wipe out most of the human race, with poison launched from space. Richard Kiel starred as his massive henchman, Jaws, and Lois Chiles was the “Bond girl”, Holly Goodhead, a CIA agent. The quote in the question was from the end when Bond and Goodhead were in space, getting amorous.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Can you find the eleven hidden colours in the following paragraph:
Many injured animals are invited to live at the ‘Toronto Range’. Stop in kangaroo corner and marvel at the lovely creatures within. Dig over the potato patch to find small furry caterpillars, but don’t yell! Owls can be found swooping for edible rodents, earwigs or perhaps bluebottles in the undergrowth. The brown bear, Rob, lacks grace and may look like an ogre, enter at your own risk! Peacocks can be found showing their colourful wares, which look fantastic when viewed with our ultraviolet torch.
ANSWER: Many inju(red) animals are invited t(o live) at the ‘Toront(o Range)’. Sto(p in k)angaroo corner and marvel at the lovely creatures with(in. Dig o)ver the potato patch to find small furry caterpillars, but don’t (yell! Ow)ls can be found swooping fo(r ed)ible rodents, earwigs or perhaps (blue)bottles in the undergrowth. The (brown) bear, Ro(b, lack)s grace and may look like an o(gre, en)ter at your own risk! Peacocks can be found showing their colourful wares, which look fantastic when viewed with our ultra(violet) torch.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Justin Case and Auntie Bellum are fellow con artists who deliver coded messages to each other to communicate. Recently Auntie Bellum was put in jail for stealing a rare and expensive diamond. Only a few days after this, Justin Case sent her a friendly letter asking her how she was. On the inside of the envelope of the letter, he hid a code. Yesterday, Auntie Bellum escaped and left the envelope and the letter inside the jail cell. The police did some research and found the code on the inside of the envelope, but they haven’t been able to crack it. Could you help the police find out what the message is?
This is the code:
llwatchawtfeclocklnisksundialcirbetimersool
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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