WELC0ME to WEDNESDAY APRIL 10. 2024

I learned a new word today; malaphor. It’s an informal term for a mixture of two
aphorisms, idioms, or cliches (such as “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it”).

I’ve been doing this for years and I just thought it was a mild form of dyslexia.
I didn’t know there was an entire branch of the language devoted to it.

Some of the funnier ones include:

“You hit the nail right on the nose.”

“She really stuck her neck out on a limb.”

“I can’t make these split-minute decisions.”

“I can read him like the back of my book.”

“He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.”

“It’s time to swallow the bullet.”

One I’ve used over and over again is; “It’s not rocket surgery.”
But my favorite – and one I think I invented – is;
“When I want your opinion I’ll squeeze your head.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Last year, Twitter (Now officially named X) introduced a ‘quality filter’ that gets rid of tweets
that contain spam, mean, or unwanted content. An hour later,
Twitter filed for bankruptcy.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen releasing live crocodiles
into a school building. Though, if you ask me, they should probably
be searching for the crocodiles.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health
problems. Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and
immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood
children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading
the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave
up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short
while had the set completely assembled. It’s beyond me,” said the father,
“how you got it together without even reading instructions.”
“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and
when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.” 😳😳😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I…I realized what a terrific person she was, and…and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I…I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this…this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.”

Answer: Annie Hall!
This line was said by Woody Allen in the movie “Annie Hall” (1977). He was speaking to the audience which he did off and on in the film, these lines being about Diane Keaton’s character in the movie. He was in love with her. They both had problems, their ups and downs.
The movie was both funny and sad. The film also starred Carol Kane, Tony Roberts, Paul Simon, Shelley Duvall, Colleen Dewhurst and Christopher Walken.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m sexy. I’m cute, I’m popular to boot. I’m pitchin’, great hair, the guys all love to stare. I’m wanted, I’m hot, I’m everything you’re not. I’m pretty, I’m cool, I dominate this school. Hate us ‘coz we’re beautiful, but we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
The parents of five children decided to share responsibility for entertaining the kids (one of whom is Bruce) during the week between the end of day camp and the start of the school. Each parent took a different day of the week, Monday through Friday, to take the children on a different outing (including taking them horseback riding). They also each rented a movie (including Mulan) for the children to watch. For each day, determine who took care of the kids, that parent’s child, the outing the parent supervised and the movie he or she rented.

1. The five parents were: the one who took the children bowling, the one who rented “Antz”, Katie’s parent, Mr. Bidwell and Mrs. Molinari.
2. The parent who rented “Finding Nemo” didn’t take the kids bowling and isn’t related to Katie.
3. Neither Mrs. Parker nor the parent who took the kids to miniature golf rented “Ice Age”.
4. The children went roller skating the day before they saw “Monster’s Inc.”, which was the day before Mr. Sandoval entertained them.
5. The parent who took the kids skating didn’t rent “Antz”.
6. Mr. Sandoval wasn’t the parent who rented “Finding Nemo” (which the children watched Thursday).
7. Mrs. Lee is Derek’s mother.
8. Linda’s parent, who isn’t Mrs. Molinari and who didn’t rent “Antz”, entertained the kids on Friday.
9. Ryan’s parent took care of the children the day after the parent who took the kids swimming.

ANSWER: Monday, Mrs. Parker, Katie, Skating, Mulan
Tuesday, Mrs. Lee, Derek, Bowling, Monster’s Inc.
Wednesday, Mr. Sandoval, Bruce, Swimming, Antz
Thursday, Mrs. Molinari, Ryan, Golf, Finding Nemo
Friday, Mr. Bidwell, Linda, horseback riding, Ice Age

Finding Nemo is on Thursday (6). Thus, Mr. Sandoval didn’t entertain the kids on Friday (4). Nor did he entertain on Monday or Tuesday (4) or Thursday (6), so he entertained on Wednesday. The kids went skating on Monday and saw Monster’s Inc on Tuesday (4). Linda’s parent entertained the kids on Friday (8). They didn’t see Antz on Monday (5) or Friday (8), so they saw it on Wednesday. Mrs. Lee is Derek’s mom (7) and must be mentioned in clue 1. Since Mr. Sandoval rented Antz, then Mrs. Lee had to take the kids bowling. Since we know either the kids name, parents name or outing for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Mrs. Lee is either Tuesday or Thursday. Since Finding Nemo is Thursday (6), then Mrs. Lee is on Tuesday (2). Linda’s parent has to be mentioned in clue 1 and is either Mrs. Molinari or Mr. Bidwell. It is Mr. Bidwell (8). Thursday’s parent is also mentioned in clue 1. He or she is not Katie’s parent (2), therefore has to be Mrs. Molinari. By elimination, Mrs. Parker is on Monday. By elimination from clue 1, Katie is Mrs. Parker child. Ice age was rented on Friday (3) and by elimination Mulan was rented on Monday. The kids went swimming on Wednesday and Ryan was on Thursday (9). By elimination, Bruce was on Wednesday. The kids played golf on Thursday (3) and went horseback riding on Friday.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Before I came, confusion abounded.
I’m late, I’m late was frequently sounded.

I’m not average, but was based on a mean.
My size, in theory, is constant: fifteen.

I’m two dozen steps, again in theory.
But walk my length and you’d get weary.

I take half and quarter steps at times.
In reality, I don’t follow the lines.

I shrink to nothing in two cold extremes.
Over a thousand miles wide in the betweens.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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