WELC0ME to THURSDAY MAY 16. 2024

As I Mature…
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just aren’t worth it.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting, long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the
passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!
I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon,
and all the less important ones just never go away.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY THURSDAY, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Today is the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover, where families gather for
a meal and recall a story of ancient grievances.
Or as that’s known in my family, ‘Thanksgiving.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results
of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door.” -Seth Meyers

“A man in Oregon was arrested for growing marijuana after police used Google Earth
to track him down. So if you’re one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who thinks the
government is watching you with satellites from space, you were right.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The pastor of a Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the
church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him.

He said, “Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we’re
going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?”

One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said, “Please tell us what the resurrection is.”
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice, “When you get
one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!” 😳😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is a parody of the movie “Zero Hour”.

Answer: Airplane!
“Airplane” is a parody of the movie “Zero Hour”. It has been said to be the second greatest comedy movie of all time behind “Monty Python’s Life of Brian”. Jerry Zucker, Jim Abrahams and David Zucker wrote the script for “Airplane” while preforming with the Kentucky Fried Theater.
Ted Striker is a war veteran terrified of flying. He breaks up with his girlfriend and buys a airplane ticket on the same flight that she’s on. After the flight crew gets sick Ted must fly the airplane.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie was filmed primarily in the Amazon

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you identify the following songs and their artists?

1) Refrain from halting, the first person, immediately.
by Female monarch.

2) Multiple timepieces.
by Low temperature, stage production.

3) Unbleached, natural sweetener.
by Perpetual motion of small rock.

4) Sugary infant, belonging to me.
by Firearms & thorny plants.

5) Refrain from remaining, on your feet, near myself.
by Poisoned insect injection.

ANSWER: 1) Don’t stop me now.
by Queen.

2) Clocks.
by Coldplay.

3) Brown sugar.
by Rolling stones.

4) Sweet child o’ mine.
by Guns ‘n’ roses.

5) Don’t stand so close to me.
by Sting.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Two numbers are given in each sentence that need to be replaced by words. Each word is an anagram of the other, except that one word contains an additional letter that the other word lacks. When this additional letter is removed, each word can be made by using the letters of the other word in each sentence. Based on the clues given in each sentence, do your best to figure out what the two words are. The numbers given in each sentence indicate the number of letters in each word. Some of the words may be formed without rearranging the letters, and the only difference between the words in this case is the one letter that has been added to one of the words.

1) The attorney was very happy. Not only had he just become a (7) in the firm, but his wife had just told him that he would be a (6) in a few months.

2) The (7) rode swiftly to fight the fire breathing (6).

3) He read in the ancient (4) that a (5) would strike the earth in ten years.

4) I heard the foreman (6) “look out (5)!”

5) The gambler was able to (6) that his opponent was only holding a (5).

6) The Great (6) was not in 1812. You are in (5).

7) In that (6) lies a hero who lost his life to an archer’s (5).

8) A (4) began to form between them when he started to (5) with others.

9) It appeared that the (5) had eaten the young man. All that could be found was the (4) he had worn to the fraternity party.

10) Some people regarded yesterday’s event as being (7). There were rumors that the priest had been paid to (6) the historic site.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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