WELC0ME to FRIDAY JULY 12, 2024
Camping Tips
Q. What equipment will I need to go camping?
A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in “a three-man tent”; this tells you
how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even then,
the tent will collapse under unusual weather conditions, such as nightfall. You will also need a
hatchet, for the spiders, and a credit card, for the motel.
Q. Where should I go camping?
A. The United States has a spectacular national park system with millions of unspoiled acres where
wildlife is protected by federal laws. Avoid these places. You want a commercial facility with a name
like “The Stop ‘n’ Squat Kountry Kamp-ground,” where large animals cannot fit through
the 6-inch gaps between the Winnebagos.
Q. How much food should I take?
A. A lot. You’ll be providing food not only for your family, but also for the entire raccoon community.
When I was a boy in rural Armonk, our garbage cans were regularly terrorized by a gang of brilliant
criminal raccoons. I recall being awakened at 3 a.m. by loud noises and looking out the window to
see, by moonlight, my father, a peace-loving Presbyterian minister, charging around in the bushes,
wildly swinging a baseball bat and saying non-Presbyterian words.
Of course, he did not get the raccoons; you NEVER get the raccoons.
Q. What if I get lost?
A. If you don’t have a compass, stand very still and listen very carefully, until you hear this sound:
“eh-eh-eh.” That is Canada. Whatever you do, don’t go that way. 😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Oscar winner Helen Mirren confirmed that she will be appearing in the eighth ‘Fast and
Furious’ film. She’ll be playing a respected actress who needs the money.” -Conan O’Brien
“The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That’s dangerous. Experts say the best
thing you can do in heat like this is take a screen shot of the weather app and post it to
Facebook. That way if you die, you go out with some likes.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Democrats held a big sit-in on the House floor to protest Congress’ refusal to vote on gun
control. Or in other words, Democrats were tired of Congress not getting anything done,
so they refused to get anything done until someone got something done.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
One woman was talking to her friend, “You should listen to my neighbor,” she says.
“She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude.
Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap;
but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?” 😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
During the World War II invasion of Normandy, a squad of U.S. soldiers must find a
paratrooper whose brothers have all been killed in action
Answer: Saving Private Ryan!
When it is discovered that his three brothers have all been killed in combat, a squad of soldiers is sent to find Private James Ryan, a paratrooper dropped behind German lines in the early hours of the D-Day invasion. Losing two men in skirmishes while looking for him, the squad locates Ryan in a strategic town that the Germans are preparing to counterattack, leaving the men no choice but to stay and fight.
Friday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this???
This movie tells the story of four teenage boys who make a pact to lose their virginity by prom night. It follows Jim, Oz,
Finch and Kevin trying to achieve their goal and the mishaps they have along the way.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Starting with a one-letter word or abbreviation, add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next. A clue is given for each.
Maybe your car does 0 to 60 in 10 sec., but can you do this “0 to 10” in 60 sec.? Go on – get out the stopwatch!
The hint provides the starting letters of the even numbered words.
- Describing a 180 degree turn
- Greek’s 13th letter
- e.g. Macadamia, pecan, or acorn
- Large fish, usually found in small cans
- Mum’s sisters
- Remove (someone) from position of power
- Crazy person – or a container for #3!
- Creatures of Greek mythology: half man and half horse
- More loyal and devoted
- Most slovenly or grubby; most earthy or vulgar
Answer: 1. U
- Nu
- Nut
- Tuna
- Aunts
- Unseat
- Nutcase
- Centaurs
- Stauncher
- Raunchiest
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?
One day the Emperor Akbar startled his courtiers with a strange question.
“If somebody pulled my moustache, what sort of punishment should be given to him?” he asked.
“He should be flogged!” said one courtier.
“He should be hanged!” said another.
“He should be beheaded!” said a third.
“And what about you, Birbal?” asked the emperor. “What do you think would be the right thing to do if somebody pulled my whiskers?”
“He should be given sweets,” said Birbal.
“Sweets?” gasped the other courtiers.
Why do you think Birbal gave such a strange answer to the Emperor’s strange question?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 