WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 18, 2024

A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You’ll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and it does, use the duct tape.

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A clothing company is going to release a $99 wedding dress. The $99
wedding dress is the perfect way to tell your man, ‘I do, I guess.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A judge in New Jersey ruled that women can keep their husbands and
boyfriends out of the delivery room while they are in labor. When asked
if they’d mind leaving the room, the husbands and boyfriends
were already gone.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A scientist and a chef teamed up to test whether or not lobsters can
feel pain. Apparently, the hardest part is getting a lobster to sit still
long enough to watch ‘The Notebook.'” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear
macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried
to begin a conversation, “Say, isn’t that fine-looking bunch of cows over there.”
The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ it’s ‘herd.'”
“Heard what?”
“Herd of cows.”
“Sure, I’ve heard of cows!” finished the city boy excitedly,
“there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.” 😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie follows the story of high school jock, who makes a bet with his
friends that he can turn any girl into the prom queen.

Answer: Shes all that!
Zach Siler is a character from the movie “She’s All That,” a teen romantic comedy released in 1999. The movie follows the story of high school jock Zach, who makes a bet with his friends that he can turn any girl into the prom queen. He chooses the nerdy Laney Boggs, played by Rachael Leigh Cook, as his project, but ends up falling in love with her. “She’s All That” was a box office success, grossing over $100 million worldwide. Interestingly, the movie was inspired by the classic play “Pygmalion” by George Bernard Shaw, which also served as the basis for the musical “My Fair Lady.”

Thursday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a third-class passenger who falls in love with first-class passenger.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Boudreaux, a master dartsman, was bragging to his bar mates that he was such a consummate player, he could hit the dartboard in any location at will.

“I’ll wager a hundred dollars that, no matter what position you name on the board, I’ll be able to hit it.”

Thibedeaux, tired of Boudreaux’s windbaggery, shouted out an answer.

Boudreaux stammered for a few moments and at first refused to pay. The other bar patrons, however, made sure he held up his end of the wager. Boudreaux slammed a hundred dollar bill on the counter and stormed out.

Where on the dartboard did Thibedeaux suggest?

Answer: The back of the board.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Eating white is what I mostly do
If quick enough, a fruit and some things blue

When you see pink, sky blue, orange, or red
It would be wise to turn my yellow head

In a dark room with blue walls
I run from the ghosts that roam the halls

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳