WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JANUARY 8, 2025

Herse the Story…
As e-mail (and blogs and texts and Tweets) continue to erode the written language,
perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep in mind when using the Queen’s Engerlish:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.
11. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times:
    resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users
won’t look like they’re alone in pictures. Instead you’ll just look like a completely
normal person who’s carrying around a severed human arm.” -Seth Meyers

“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent
accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy
but they prefer to watch you die.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home
and get more time off. They would have said more, but they had to pick up their gold
star for participating in that survey.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions
left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third,
and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing
17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle
the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half,
or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth,
or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument,
hitched up his mule and drove home.

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about 2 people who were cleaning out a shark to see what was inside.

Answer: Jaws!
Chief Brody and Hooper were cleaning out a shark to see what was inside. Chief Brody was hoping this was the shark that was causing all the problems with Amity Island. But one of the items Hooper pulled out was a Louisiana license plate. There are lots of cute one liners in this movie.

Wednessday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a doctor who wants to take a nice relaxing vacation with his family, but has company pop up and ruin his nice relaxing vacation.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) to affix a worm to the end of a fishing line & to dislike a novel
2) to move by foot at a slow gait for eight furlongs & to ridicule for an unspecified amount of time
3) to strike a cooking utensil with the foot & to select a cylindrical metal container
4) to cook a turtle’s covering in an oven & to wave a clanging instrument with a jerky motion

ANSWER: 1) bait a hook & hate a book
2) walk a mile & mock a while
3) kick a pan & pick a can
4) bake a shell & shake a bell

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning.

Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.

** EXAMPLE **
short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot

** CLUES **

1. pass & company merger [8]
2. escape & the start of a war [8]
3. delay & maintain [6]
4. shelf set & detective’s diary [8]

** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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