WELCOME to THURSDAY JANUARY 9, 2025
Signs of the times
SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are using
the Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story to me in
the subject line of an email.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license
on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police
car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway.” -Seth Meyers
“Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone
at a gas station. They’re being charged with attempted robbery and
mixing Marvel with DC.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman
asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her
face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
“I don’t know his size,” she said, “but my hands fit perfectly around his neck.”
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a doctor who wants to take a nice relaxing vacation with his family,
but has company pop up and ruin his nice relaxing vacation.
Answer: What About Bob?
Dr. Leo wants to take a nice relaxing vacation with his family, but who should decide to pop up and ruin his nice relaxing vacation? Bob Wiley is his schizophrenic patient that needs serious help. He tries taking “baby steps” towards recovery, but feels he needs the one on one help from Dr. Leo. The problem is, every one just adores Bob, except Dr. Leo.
Thursday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a shootout between drug smugglers and law enforcement.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning.
Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.
** EXAMPLE **
short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot
** CLUES **
- pass & company merger [8]
- escape & the start of a war [8]
- delay & maintain [6]
- shelf set & detective’s diary [8]
** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.
ANSWER: 1. overtake & takeover
- breakout & outbreak
- holdup & uphold
- casebook & bookcase
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
A sundial is a timepiece that has the fewest number of moving parts.
Which timepiece has the most moving parts?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 