WELCOME to THURSDAY JANUARY 30, 2025

A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling
over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You’ll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and
it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and it does, use the duct tape.

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for much but
they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Microsoft is working on technology that removes the need for cashiers
and checkout lines. This cutting-edge technology
is known as ‘shoplifting.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Nordstrom is launching a new home and wellness collection that features
a marijuana-scented candle. You can use it to cover up the smell
when you get stoned on vanilla.” -Seth Meyers

“This Sunday is Father’s Day. With the big day coming up, a lot of people are
shopping for the perfect Father’s Day card, and while there are lots of good choices,
there are also some very unpopular cards out there. For example, this card says,
‘Dad, you taught me everything I know.’ Open up, it says,
‘That’s why I’m so messed up.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho,
so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.

As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin
a conversation, “Say, isn’t that fine-looking bunch of cows over there.”

The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ it’s ‘herd.'”

“Heard what?”

“Herd of cows.”

“Sure, I’ve heard of cows!” finished the city boy excitedly,
“there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.” 😳😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a boy who, due to a rare disorder known as Werner syndrome, ages much
faster than a normal child, and by the age of 10 looks like a 40-year-old man.

Answer: Jack!
“Jack” is a 1996 movie that stars Robin Williams as Jack Powell, a boy who, due to a rare disorder known as Werner syndrome, ages much faster than a normal child, and by the age of 10 looks like a 40 year old man. The film chronicles his struggles in finding friends his age, who initially treat him as a freak, but through his charm and sense of humor, is able to make friends. The film concludes with Jack speaking at his high school graduation as valedictorian, while looking very old. The film has a lot of dark moments, but is full of laughs as well.

Thursday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a mentally unstable and lonely man who was fired by a cable company for stalking clients.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) canine fur & porcine challenge
2) rock toss & to pack up royal furniture
3) arsonist’s desire & to battle a fibber
4) underground amphibian & bar rules

ANSWER: 1) dog hair & hog dare
2) throw a stone & stow a throne
3) light a fire & fight a liar
4) cavern toad & tavern code

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
My rings tell such a story
Of years past with gracious glory
Where I live is where I stay
From that spot I cannot stray
From my home man taketh me
So they can erect another home, you see
Many others bore into my sides
These things that crawl and things that glide
I weep with beauty or stand with grace
Every year I shed myself to nourish my place

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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