WELCOME to MONDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2025

ENGLISH for TOURISTS

Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.”

On an Athi River highway: “TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,
THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.”

In a City restaurant: “OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

Hotel, Japan: “YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.”

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
“YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.”

Taken from a menu, Poland: “SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP
WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE;
BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.”

Supermarket, Hong Kong: “FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND
COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.”

From the “Soviet Weekly”: “THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF
ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE
WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.”

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: “IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT
TO MOSCOW, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.”

A laundry in Rome: “LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND
THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The owner of an ice cream truck named Snow Cone Joe was arrested for
allegedly stalking his rival truck, called Mr. Ding-a-Ling. It’s being called
the saddest turf war ever.” -Conan O’Brien

“A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like
whiskey. I think my dad’s been wearing that cologne for 40 years.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A company called Dog Nation just launched an IQ online test for your dog.
It covers understanding hand gestures and learning words. It’s actually a
secret IQ test for humans. If you pay $60 to give your
dog an IQ test, you failed.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man was showing his friend a new set of matched
golf clubs he had just bought.
“Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and
I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see
the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I
joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.”
“What about your wife?” the friend asked. “What did you buy her?”
“A new lawn mower,” the golfer said.

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a 5 year old who lives with his single mother.

Answer: Man of the House!
“Man of the House” is a 1995 comedy that stars Jonathan Taylor Thomas as Ben Archer, who lives with his single mother, Sandy (played by Farrah Fawcett) after Ben’s father leaves them when Ben is five years old. Ben and Sandy move to Seattle, where Sandy meets Jack Sturges, played by Chevy Chase. Ben is not welcoming of Jack, who he feels is intruding. Jack tries to engage with the boy and is eventually able to get in his good graces.

Monday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a television weatherman who lives the same day over and over.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
In the paragraph below, each blank must be filled by a five-letter word, and the words
are all anagrams of each other (the words all contain the same five letters,
in different order). Can you fill in the blanks?

Quaint _ this hotel supplies, That don’t appear upon the bill. I speak of roaches, , and flies.
You and slap. They’re with you still.
At each guest __ pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.

ANSWER: Quaint ITEMS this hotel supplies,
That don’t appear upon the bill.
I speak of roaches, MITES, and flies.
You SMITE and slap. They’re with you still.
At TIMES each guest EMITS pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Always old, sometimes new. Never sad, sometimes blue. Never empty,
sometimes full. Never pushing, always pulling. What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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