WELCOME to WEDNESDAY APRIL 16, 2025

Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time
that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much
as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it,
like when the kid wakes up with a hangover.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah Carey and Sir Elton John perform
at his teenage granddaughter’s wedding. Said his teenage granddaughter,
‘Who are these people?'” -Seth Meyers

“Apple has changed back their design of the peach emoji to look more like a butt after people were
upset the new design no longer looked like a butt. So you see, people

• sometimes democracy DOES work!” -Conan O’Brien

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Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
Which actress is NOT in the ‘Scream’ trilogy?

Answer: Jennifer Love Hewitt!
Hewitt is the star of ‘I (Still) Know What You Did Last Summer’ and did not appear
in the 3 ‘Scream’ movies. Barrymore got killed in 1, Gellar in 2, McCarthy in 3.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!
In order for his plan to work, John Doe (Kevin Spacey) had to be killed for having
committed what deadly sin in 1995s ‘Seven’?

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Stronger than steel, yet lighter than cotton
Found in a corner, forever forgotten
I bother so many, but marvel a few
You can’t seem to make me
I’m a mystery to you.

ANSWER: Spider silk.
Spider silk is one of the most remarkable materials on Earth. Besides being five times stronger than steel, it is also extremely lightweight: a strand of spider silk long enough to circle the earth would weigh less than 16 ounces. Despite years of study, researchers are still baffled by spider silk and have not been able to duplicate it.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
A 3-letter word has been taken out of each of the following words. Can you figure it out?

ST_ _ _
_ _ NT AD _ _
P_ _ _ANT

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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