WELCOME to TUESDAY APRIL 29, 2025

Here’s The Story……
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market.
A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his
manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said, “There’s some jerk out
there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he
turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,
“and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…”
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier,
but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it.
You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”
The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.
The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”
“Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”
The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?” 😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A couple from Florida just set a record by taking their 200th Carnival Cruise.
The couple said, ‘What can we say, we love diarrhea.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think you’re less drunk
than if you’re around other drunk people. And if you’re drunk around sober people,
chances are you’ve got a problem.” -Jimmy Fallon

“On a bittersweet note, the world’s oldest person has died in Italy at the age of 117. It’s tragic;
she died in a knife fight with the world’s second-oldest person. I’m kidding!
Do you know how she died? Bungee-jumping.” -James Corden

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho,
so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.

As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin
a conversation, “Say, isn’t that fine-looking bunch of cows over there.”
The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ it’s ‘herd.'”
“Heard what?”
“Herd of cows.”
“Sure, I’ve heard of cows!” finished the city boy excitedly,
“there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.” 😕😕

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
Which movie features Dr Rendell as a mad killer?

Answer: Dr Giggles!
‘The doctor is out…Of his mind!’ This goofy 1992 movie is pretty funny. Corbin Bernson played Dr Feinstone in 1996’s ‘The Dentist’. ‘Urban Legend’ featured Robert Englund as Prof Wexler. ‘Dr Butcher’ is Italian gore from 1979 also known as ‘Queen of the Cannibals’. Donald O’Brien plays Dr Abrera M.D. (Medical Deviate).

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!
Which horror classic was remade in 1998 frame by frame and was a big flop?

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
The first lunar base was completed last year. One company, aptly named “Out Of This World Vacations”, offers tourists a week-long visit to the Moon. The cost of such a vacation is extremely high.

“It was awesome! Wait till I show you the Moon rocks I brought back,” Alex boasted as a crowd gathered around him on the school grounds.

“What’s going on here?” Kari whispered to the person beside her.

“Alex is telling us about his experience on the Moon.”

“I felt like an Olympian; I was able to jump more than a metre straight up!” The crowd was clearly impressed so Alex continued. “There are no clouds and no light pollution from big cities, so there was an amazing view of the stars. And while you were here, possibly watching the moonrise, I watched the earthrise – right from when it was just visible on the horizon until it was overhead.”

“Why should we believe you actually went there?” one sceptic asked.

“I knew there would be doubters, so I brought back a few Moon rocks. I collected these while on a moonwalk in the Sea of Tranquility. Hey, Jack, you collect rocks, this would be a stellar addition to your rock collection! I’m willing to sell you a rock for only…”

“I’ve heard quite enough,” Kari interrupted. “Jack, save your money for your own vacation.”

What had Kari heard that indicated the story wasn’t true?

ANSWER: If you are standing on the Moon, you will never see the Earth rise or set. One side of the Moon always faces the Earth, while the other side always faces away. So depending on where you are on the Moon, the Earth will either always be in the sky, or never be in the sky; it will not rise or set.

You may have seen the famous “Earthrise” picture; it was taken from a spacecraft orbiting the Moon. Since the spacecraft was moving around the Moon, it was able to see the Earth rise as it moved.

The other parts of the story could be true. Because of the lower gravity on the moon, you can jump about 6 times higher than on Earth. Even though they don’t contain water, many craters on the Moon are called seas, so you would be able to walk in the Sea of Tranquility.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
A Swiss woman was stuck at a Nazi checkpoint. There was a very long bridge at the border of Germany and Switzerland, but it took six minutes to cross. Observing the guard at the guardhouse, she found that he came out every three minutes to check that no one was trying to leave or enter. How did she manage to escape?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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