WELCOME to FRIDAY MAY 2, 2025
Differences between men and women
- NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
- EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
- MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
- BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
- DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
- FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. - SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A motorcycle gang in Canada is attacking businesses they don’t like by giving them
mass one-star reviews online. They’re the fearsome badass biker
gang known as ‘Yelp’s Angels.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe the government is spying
on them. ‘No, we’re not,’ said your microwave.” -Seth Meyers
“The workout company CrossFit is now getting into the meal delivery business. But their
meal kit is getting mixed reviews because, well, it isn’t really a meal, it’s nothing but ten
pounds of raw meat. And you thought your dog chased the mailman before.” -James Corden
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might
chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill you.”
A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill myself.”
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
What disaster movie features Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway and Fred Astaire?
Answer: The Towering Inferno
During filming an actual fire broke out on one of the sets and Steve McQueen found himself helping real firemen put it out. One of the firemen, not recognizing McQueen, said to the actor, “My wife is not going to believe this.” To this McQueen replied, “Neither is mine.” Difficulty: Very Easy.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day!
Who played the title role in the movie “Hancock”?
TODAYS MOVIE BUFF OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS KIM HILLYARD FOR SUPER SOLVING! GREAT WORK KIM! 💪💪
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Grandpa Lowell is a carpenter with five granddaughters whom he absolutely adores. He wanted to do something very special for all of their upcoming birthdays and ended up taking on a very large task. He decided to hand craft rocking chairs for them, each from a different type of wood, each with their names embossed and a music box attached to each playing a different song. From the clues given, determine the age of the granddaughter, the type of wood used, and the melody the chair played.
Girls: Amanda, Bonnie, Christine, Sylvia, Tanya
Age: 2, 3, 4, 6, 8
Wood: Birch, Cherry, Mahogany, Maple, Oak
Melody: “The Big Rock Candy Mountain,” “Rock-A-Bye Baby,” “Rock-A My Soul,” “Rock Me Gently,” “Rock of Ages”
- The oak chair was made for a girl who is exactly twice as old as Amanda (who isn’t four years old). Sylvia isn’t the intended recipient of the oak chair. The birch chair wasn’t built for the eight-year-old (who isn’t Christine).
- The mahogany rocker will be given to the child who is exactly twice as old as Bonnie, but younger than the at least one other child. The six-year-old isn’t the intended recipient of the chair that plays “Rock Me Gently”.
- The music box that plays “Rock-A My Soul” is attached to the chair made for the grandchild who is exactly twice as old as Sylvia. Bonnie is exactly half as old as the intended recipient of the chair whose music box plays “Rock-A-Bye Baby”.
- The chair that has the music box that plays “Rock of Ages” will be presented to the three-year-old, while the two-year-old is getting the cherry-wood chair.
ANSWER: Bonnie, 2, cherry, “Rock Me Gently”
Amanda, 3, birch, “Rock of Ages”
Sylvia, 4, mahogany, “Rock-A-Bye Baby”
Christine, 6, oak, “The Big Rock Candy Mountain”
Tanya, 8, maple, “Rock-A My Soul”
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four.
Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)
- A colorless crystalline carbon existing within an uncouth environment.
- Descending in the manner of the order of Diptera.
- A late pop singer has departed from the premises.
- To be delivered by metallic object that brings forth a great ringing noise.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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The World According to the Eucman! 