WELCOME to TUESDAY JUly 1st, 2025

The 5 toughest questions for men are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument
if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,
wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to
know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, tons.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I’ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study reports that older women are doing more and more binge drinking.
I asked my mom if that was true and she said, ‘I love you, man.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A 16-year-old boy in Bosnia broke a world record this week by smashing 111 concrete
blocks with his head in 34 seconds. Get an Xbox! You don’t have to do that. When asked
how it felt to break the world record, the boy said, ‘Lampshade tricycle is
my favorite flavor of pizza truck.'” -James Corden

“Arby’s is facing multiple lawsuits currently, after a data breach exposed the credit card
information of over 350,000 customers. The data breach could reveal potentially embarrassing
information, like the fact that they ate at Arby’s.” -Seth Meyers

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two Scotsmen, brothers, Finlay and Jim Calder, were sitting in the pub discussing Jim’s big wedding day.
“Aye, it’s going to be grand,” said Jim. “I’ve got everything organized already, the flowers, the church,
the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.”
Finlay smiled and nodded, approvingly.
“Heavens, I’ve even got a new kilt to be married in,” continued Jim with a look of satisfaction.
“A kilt, that’s grand! You’ll look smart in that,” exclaimed Finlay, “and what’s the tartan?”
“Och,” uttered Jim, “I imagine she’ll be in white.” 😲😲

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!
In which 2011 movie starring Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, and Bryan Cranston, and directed by Nicolas Winding
Refn, did the protagonist work part-time as a stunt man?

Answer: Drive!
“Drive” features Ryan Gosling in the lead role as someone just known as The Driver. He works in a variety of roles associated with cars, including as a mechanic, a stunt driver in movies, and as a criminal getaway driver. He aspires to be a racing driver. A quiet man with few friends, he gets close to a neighbor, Irene (Carey Mulligan), and her son. When Irene’s husband, Standard Gabriel, is released from prison, The Driver gets roped into assisting him in a robbery. It all goes wrong. There is a double cross, Gabriel is killed, and The Driver ends up on the run with $1M of mob money, needing to protect Irene and her son, and somehow escape with his life.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!
Which movie sequel from 2008, and directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, starred John Cho, Kal Penn, and Neil Patrick Harris playing “himself” in a comedy of false imprisonment, love, politics, and drug abuse?

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed into a two word
phrase that fits one of the definitions. Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word.
Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob)

Words: absolute, boomerang, porcelain, stadium, submarine

Definitions:
a stack of nuts
an angry tuxedo
an unruly crowd of citrus fruit
not a different bear
to misplace a musical instrument

ANSWER: absolute: to misplace a musical instrument (lose tuba)
boomerang: an unruly crowd of citrus fruit (orange mob)
porcelain: a stack of nuts (acorn pile)
stadium: an angry tuxedo (mad suit)
submarine: not a different bear (same bruin)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
There was a death on Treebark Ln. The victim was identified as Mark Oswalt, who recently was married. The police went to the crime scene and they reported the death as a suicide.

Later that day, after the police left, a private detective, hired by the victim’s friend who thought it was a murder, searched the crime scene and found a note the police missed.

It read,

“4,3: 8,1:: 9,1: 2,1: 7,4:: 6,1:9,3:_: 9,1: 4,3: 3,3: 3,2: !”

The detective took out his cell phone and started dialing the police to tell them about his findings. Once the detective opened the phone to dial, he immediately screamed out, “I SOLVED IT!”

Who was the murderer and how did the detective find out?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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