WELCOME to FRIDAY AUGUST 1st, 2025

Here’s The Story…..
Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby
they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will
not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife
to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind
by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t
have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at
the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
 “Starting today, all the Democratic presidential candidates are visiting the Iowa State Fair.
This is that very stupid time in American politics when the presidential hopefuls have to
impress Iowans by posing next to a farm animal sculpted out of butter.” Jimmy Kimmel

“A college student in Georgia was worried that his parents would be mad at him for flunking
English. So he tried to fake his own kidnapping. The parents figured it out when the ransom
note said, ‘We has your son.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Thanks to our trade war with China, stocks have been up and down, and I saw that Apple
lost almost $50 billion. Then every customer with a missing AirPod was like,
‘Sucks losing something, doesn’t it?'” -Jimmy Fallon
 

 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and
I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we
went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked
if we had anything of value to report.

“Not really,” Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased.
Everyone around us froze as she continued, “I only bought a little pot.” 😮😮

Thursday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!  
This film starred Robert De Niro, and (a young) Jodie Foster. It was directed by Martin Scorsese and
written by Paul Shrader. What was the name of this film

 Answer: Taxi Driver! 

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!  
This movie is about a young, unpleasant orphan who comes to live with her uncle and while there discovers a secret garden on his grounds. It was published as a book in 1911 and has been adapted into films and plays. In the 1987 film adaptation, Colin Firth plays the adult Colin Craven and in the 2020 film version he plays the role of the uncle, Lord Archibald Craven.

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you determine which common word or phrase this picture represents?

Shortcut?
 

ANSWER:  Cutting Corners!

Friday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
-You have 5 coins
-One of the coins is rigged to always land on heads
-You grab one at random
-You flip it twice and it lands on heads both times

What is the probability you picked the rigged one?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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