WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11th, 2025

Signs of the times…..

SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, 
you’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; 
come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.” 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
“For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are using the
Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story to me 
in the subject line of an email.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license 
on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police 
car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway.” -Seth Meyers

“Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a 
gas station. They’re being charged with attempted robbery and 
mixing Marvel with DC.” -Conan O’Brien 😁😂
 

 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman asked me 
to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.

When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. 
She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
“I don’t know his size,” she said, “but my hands fit perfectly around his neck.” 😮😮

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!   
Six steel workers are laid off and need money. Inspired by The Chippendales they decide to form their own
striptease act, in which all their clothes come off! Name this British comedy.

Answer:  The Full Monty!

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!  
a newly released prisoner on a plane home. In the same plane are some of the most dangerous 
criminals in the country, who take over the plane. He must stop them! 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Lizzie wants to upload the contents of her serial killer scrapbook into an online database, however she discovers her little brother has spilled juice all over the pages. She manages to get most of them apart but five pages are almost completely unreadable. Help Lizzie get the information she needs for her database from what she remembers and what’s left of the shredded pages.

1.) The serial killer that started the earliest did not have the most victims, the one who started the latest didn’t have the least.

2.) The American had more victims than the axe murderer, who had more victims than the man who started killing in 2005. None of these had the highest or lowest body count.

3.) Either Onoprienko is the Latvian and Kumar preferred to strangle his victims; or Denke began killing in 1900 and Petrovs was the strangler.

4.) The five killers are the American, the man who shot his victims, the man with exactly 20 confirmed victims, the German, and the strangler.

5.) Of the killer who started in 2003 and the one who started in 2005, one was from India and the other has the fewest victims.

6.) Considered handsome and charismatic by his friends and collegues, Ted Bundy began either poisoning women in 1989 or bludgeoning women in 1974.

7.) The preferred methods of murder were: the method preferred by Denke, the one used by the Latvian killer, poison, the one used to kill exactly 35 confirmed victims, and the one used by the killer who began in 1989.

8.) The five countries of origin are represented by: India, the strangler, Ted Bundy, Germany and the killer who began in 1989.

9.) The man who started killing first didn’t use a gun and was not Kaspars Petrovs

10.) The Latvian was active after the shooter and the German, but before at least one other killer and none of these four men were named Bundy.

11.) Either Onoprienko was the Russian and killed the most people or Denke was the Russian and poisoned his victims.

ANSWER: Ted Bundy (USA) preferred to bludgeon his victims and had 35 confirmed kills, beginning in 1974.
Karl Denke (Germany) hacked his victims to death with an axe; he killed at least 30 beginning in 1900.
Mohan Kumar (India) lured women with promises of marriage before poisoning them with cyanide, he killed 20 women beginning in 2005.
Anatoly Onoprienko (Russia) dispatched his victims with a sawed off shotgun, he killed at least 52 people beginning in 1989.
Kaspars Petrovs (Latvia) strangled elderly people from his community, he confessed to many more but is only confirmed to have killed 13 beginning in 2003.
 

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.

1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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