WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 2nd, 2026

Here’s The Story…..
You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like “one banana plus

two bananas make three bananas”? Here’s a list of high school math courses based on bananas:

Algebra I – A
You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana.

Algebra I – B
You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula.

Geometry
Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits.

Algebra II
You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas.
The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power.

Pre-Calculus
What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple?

Calculus AB
The student learns to find the slope of a banana.

Calculus BC
The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana. 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
 
 
“Engineers have begun trying to find a way to brew beer on the moon. Which means
we’ll soon have astronauts calling into Mission Control saying,
‘Houston, we have a drinking problem.'” -Conan O’Brien

“According to a new report, 67 percent of millennials use Netflix, which must really
tick off whoever owns the account they’re using.” -Seth Meyers

“Wildlife officials in India are now putting wild monkeys on birth control to help curb
the recent population spike. This is good for wildlife, and even better for female
monkeys who want to focus on their careers.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The heaviest element known to science is Managerium.
This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus made up of 1 neutron,
2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant vice-neutrons, and
125 junior assistant vice-neutrons all going round in circles.

Managerium has a half-life of three years, at which time it does not decay
but institutes a series of reviews leading to reorganization.

Its molecules are held together by means of the exchange of tiny particles known as morons. 
 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
In a futuristic wasteland of a now “Cursed Earth”, people have gathered in overpopulated safe zones called “Mega-Cities”. These safe zones may keep them safe from the Cursed Earth’s deadly air, but crime runs rampant, and they have put in places Judges to act as law enforcement. Despite dwindling Judge numbers and higher crime rates, a fellow Judge presumed to be executed by Dredd’s order returns and disguises himself as Dredd to incriminate him with murder. Now, Judge Dredd must stop his once fellow Judge and best friend, Rico, from killing even more Judges, all the while escaping arrest and trying to clear his own name.

Answer:  Mega-City One – Sylvester Stallone (1995) The correct answer was Judge Dredd

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
This delightfully quirky 1996 crime film is set in snowy Minnesota and centered on a pregnant Brainerd police chief investigating a kidnapping that went very sideways. What is it?

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

Answer:  3 feet Your focal length in a mirror is your distance away from the mirror, plus the distance of the object away from the mirror. When you look at an object in a mirror, you are seeing a virtual image the exact distance it is away from the mirror. So, if you are standing 3 feet away from a mirror, and focus on your face, you are actually focusing at 6 feet. To try this out, put a piece of tape on a mirror, about eye level. Standing in front of the mirror, focus your eyes on the tape, now your face is out of focus. Focus now on your face, and the tape is out of focus.

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
This teaser is based on ‘funny’ alternative definitions a word could have if you broke the word up into its syllables and treated the syllables as words in themselves. I will provide a list of words and a list of definitions, it is your job to match them up.

They are meant to be a bit light hearted and may not have perfect
pronunciation so work the words in your head a bit. Having the definitions should provide help in this regard. Also note that sometimes the ‘new
word’ syllables may not only be using one syllable in the word.

An example would be:
Word: Contemplate “Con template”: A stencil that criminals are made from.

Words:
Parasites
Sudafed
Enticing
Bargain
Counterfeiters

Definitions:
Cake component made of Tolkien treefolk
Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets
The term given to the profits made by a pub
Brought litigation against a government official
What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hTE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳