WELCOME to TUESDAY MARCH 3rd, 2026

PUNAGROPHY…..
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He often broke into a song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
 
 
“The shoe store Payless is filing for bankruptcy and closing nearly 400 stores in the United States.
Yes, 400 shoe stores closed, but thousands of soles lost. The problem was their work ethic.
Most of Payless was just a bunch of loafers.” -James Corden

“UPS announced yesterday that it will begin delivering packages on Saturdays. Unless,
of course, you plan on being home on Saturday.” -Seth Meyers

“The Fourth of July holiday weekend is almost upon us. The original Brexit is the Fourth
of July. It’s my favorite holiday. You don’t have to wrap anything,
other than bacon around a hot dog.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also
purchased an inflatable life preserver. “It was my wife’s idea,” I explained to
the grizzled salesman at the counter. “She’s buying it for me as a gift.”
“Lucky you,” he said as he started to write up the order.
“My wife got me a length of chain and a cement block.”😮 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
This delightfully quirky 1996 crime film is set in snowy Minnesota and centered on a pregnant Brainerd police chief investigating a kidnapping that went very sideways. What is it?

Answer: The correct answer was Fargo
‘Fargo’ features one Marge Gunderson (an Oscar-winning performance by Frances McDormand), the impressively calm, seven-months-pregnant chief of police in Brainerd, Minnesota. She follows a trail of increasingly terrible decisions and even worse driving skills that leads her to uncover a kidnapping plot thought up by a desperate car salesman (William H. Macy). Things escalate, people make awful choices and do very bad things, all of which is contrasted beautifully with the amusing (if not slightly sickening) “Minnesota nice” on display.
 
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which 1994 comedy-drama follows a kindly but slow man from Alabama who walks aimlessly through
American history in pursuit of his dream girl, Jenny?

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
This teaser is based on ‘funny’ alternative definitions a word could have if you broke the word up into its syllables and treated the syllables as words in themselves. I will provide a list of words and a list of definitions, it is your job to match them up.

They are meant to be a bit light hearted and may not have perfect
pronunciation so work the words in your head a bit. Having the definitions should provide help in this regard. Also note that sometimes the ‘new
word’ syllables may not only be using one syllable in the word.

An example would be:
Word: Contemplate “Con template”: A stencil that criminals are made from.

Words:
Parasites
Sudafed
Enticing
Bargain
Counterfeiters

Definitions:
Cake component made of Tolkien treefolk
Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets
The term given to the profits made by a pub
Brought litigation against a government official
What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

Answer:  Parasites – Paris’sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Sudafed – sued-a-fed: Brought litigation against a government official
Enticing – Ent-icing: Cake component made of Tolkien treefolk
Bargain – Bar-gain: The term given to the profits made by a pub
Counterfeiters – counter-fitters: Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
It is a scorching afternoon in the piercing Texas sun when Detectives Sloan and Penter arrive at the scene of a fatal car accident. It is a one car accident. They are here to gather the facts and to submit a report as to what happened. At this time, there are no witnesses.

The accident has happened just outside of the small town of Springs Crossing on Hwy 128. The car is a brand new Viper and inside is a very lovely but dead young woman. The car is embedded into a tree, and the victim’s head is against the steering wheel.

Upon checking the scene, the detectives make some interesting observations. Here is a list of observations and findings that they have included in their report:

Crash scene details:
Victim identity: Dr. Rachel Wells of Springs Crossing, Texas. The cherry red car was purchased two weeks before from Regency Dodge in nearby Dallas, Texas. Very few items are found in the car with the victim.

Inventory of Viper:
Trunk contents: Spare tire, car jack, exercise workout bag, small suitcase packed for a short getaway – possibly to the beach, and her work briefcase. Inside the briefcase, they found patient medical files, a partial box of Elidel samples, an Epi Pen, a partial box of Benadryl, seminar materials and ticket stubs for an allergy conference from last month, a pocket medical reference book, and a pocket drug reference book.

Car interior contents: victim’s purse (usual purse contents plus Epi Pen and box of motion sickness patches), white Dr. coat with name badge, open tin of gourmet chocolaty chocolate chunk cookies with a signed gift tag attached from Fran’s Gourmet Bakery “To: Rachel – My apologies! Jealousy and bitterness are hard to get over. Enjoy! Try my newest creation – I made them just for you!! From: Fran”. Cell phone is plugged into charger in the car.

When the detectives checked the cell phone for messages, they found the following new messages all from 2 days ago:
Message 1: From Dr. Greer of Springs Crossing Family Medical Practice: “Rachel, quit stealing my patients! I don’t care that you are a local gal and know everyone. I have been in this town for the last 10 years, and you better not even take one more of my patients or else!! I was the Dr. here when you were still in Med. School. Go away or you will be sorry!”

Message 2: Fran, owner or Fran’s Gourmet Bakery:
“Rachel, Hi. Well, I guess that you are back in town after all these years. Have you heard from Jon in all these years? I still can’t believe that he broke our engagement to chase you. You always were so beautiful – all the guys loved you! You would think I would have known that he could not resist. I have known you since kindergarten. A lot of good it did Jon! If he would have chosen me, he and I both would have a family by now. Well we need to bury all that from the past. Call me, please, Fran”

No skid marks of any kind are present on the roadway. The car appears to be in good mechanical condition with no pre-accident damage to the tires or brakes. The Dr. was not taking any medications, and her toxin tests have come back clear. Dr. was not a diabetic or epileptic and did not have a heart attack or stroke. Falling asleep at the wheel was an unlikely cause of accident. Cause of death: impact of head on dashboard during accident.

When the Chief of Detectives read their findings, he turned purple with anger. “You bumbling idiots! How could you miss something so obvious? It is right here in black and white. GET OUT and call in Blake and Jones. Your department is through with this case!”

Why is the Chief so angry and what did Sloan and Penter miss in their investigation?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hTE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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