WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MARCH 4th, 2026

PUNAGRAPHY…..
An anthropologist is studying a primitive society in the middle of the jungle when
he develops constipation. Finding he has run out of medicine for that particular
type of dysfunction, he tells the medicine doctor of the tribe he is studying. The
medicine man tells him not to worry; his people sometimes suffer from the same
malady but they simply chew the leaves of a particular fern. The anthropologist,
figuring that he has nothing to lose (the fern wasn’t poisonous),
decided to try this herbal medicine.

The next morning he bumps into the medicine man, who asks if everything came
out all right. The anthropologist replied that ferns had, indeed, worked very well,
adding, “With fronds like these, who needs enemas?”[Two punning words.] 😮😮

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
 
 
“I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this:
When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can
only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.” –Tom Hertz

My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to
pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds.
My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”

I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “This is a very simple, noninvasive
procedure,” the anesthesiologist reassured me. I started to feel better until he
continued, “Heck, you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I once bought a pair of shoes. One day while wearing them, I fell and
broke my wrist. Some time later while wearing them, I slipped, fell,
and broke my knee. Those shoes cost me an arm and a leg! 😮😀

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
 Which 1994 comedy-drama follows a kindly but slow man from Alabama who walks aimlessly through
American history in pursuit of his dream girl, Jenny?

Answer:  The correct answer was Forrest Gump! Tom Hanks plays the title character of ‘Forrest Gump’. While never quite understanding the world around him, Gump somehow manages to play a major role in it anyway. He’s not trying to make history. It just keeps kind of getting in his way. From college football to the Vietnam War to ping-pong diplomacy, we relive decades of American life through his innocent eyes. Forrest Gump has an unshakable and unhealthy devotion to Jenny, the love of his life and perhaps the most subtly villainous character in the history of motion pictures. (Poor Forrest.) The movie won six Oscars in all, including Best Picture and Best Actor, annoying some people who thought it was more about American nostalgia and less concerned with actual substance, at least in comparison to some of its competitors such as ‘Pulp Fiction’ and ‘The Shawshank Redemption’. While an interesting question in retrospect, at the time, it seemed like a no-brainer.
 
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which comedy-drama released in 1992 tells the story of the Rockford Peaches,
a women’s professional baseball team formed during World War II?

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
It is a scorching afternoon in the piercing Texas sun when Detectives Sloan and Penter arrive at the scene of a fatal car accident. It is a one car accident. They are here to gather the facts and to submit a report as to what happened. At this time, there are no witnesses.

The accident has happened just outside of the small town of Springs Crossing on Hwy 128. The car is a brand new Viper and inside is a very lovely but dead young woman. The car is embedded into a tree, and the victim’s head is against the steering wheel.

Upon checking the scene, the detectives make some interesting observations. Here is a list of observations and findings that they have included in their report:

Crash scene details:
Victim identity: Dr. Rachel Wells of Springs Crossing, Texas. The cherry red car was purchased two weeks before from Regency Dodge in nearby Dallas, Texas. Very few items are found in the car with the victim.

Inventory of Viper:
Trunk contents: Spare tire, car jack, exercise workout bag, small suitcase packed for a short getaway – possibly to the beach, and her work briefcase. Inside the briefcase, they found patient medical files, a partial box of Elidel samples, an Epi Pen, a partial box of Benadryl, seminar materials and ticket stubs for an allergy conference from last month, a pocket medical reference book, and a pocket drug reference book.

Car interior contents: victim’s purse (usual purse contents plus Epi Pen and box of motion sickness patches), white Dr. coat with name badge, open tin of gourmet chocolaty chocolate chunk cookies with a signed gift tag attached from Fran’s Gourmet Bakery “To: Rachel – My apologies! Jealousy and bitterness are hard to get over. Enjoy! Try my newest creation – I made them just for you!! From: Fran”. Cell phone is plugged into charger in the car.

When the detectives checked the cell phone for messages, they found the following new messages all from 2 days ago:
Message 1: From Dr. Greer of Springs Crossing Family Medical Practice: “Rachel, quit stealing my patients! I don’t care that you are a local gal and know everyone. I have been in this town for the last 10 years, and you better not even take one more of my patients or else!! I was the Dr. here when you were still in Med. School. Go away or you will be sorry!”

Message 2: Fran, owner or Fran’s Gourmet Bakery:
“Rachel, Hi. Well, I guess that you are back in town after all these years. Have you heard from Jon in all these years? I still can’t believe that he broke our engagement to chase you. You always were so beautiful – all the guys loved you! You would think I would have known that he could not resist. I have known you since kindergarten. A lot of good it did Jon! If he would have chosen me, he and I both would have a family by now. Well we need to bury all that from the past. Call me, please, Fran”

No skid marks of any kind are present on the roadway. The car appears to be in good mechanical condition with no pre-accident damage to the tires or brakes. The Dr. was not taking any medications, and her toxin tests have come back clear. Dr. was not a diabetic or epileptic and did not have a heart attack or stroke. Falling asleep at the wheel was an unlikely cause of accident. Cause of death: impact of head on dashboard during accident.

When the Chief of Detectives read their findings, he turned purple with anger. “You bumbling idiots! How could you miss something so obvious? It is right here in black and white. GET OUT and call in Blake and Jones. Your department is through with this case!”

Why is the Chief so angry and what did Sloan and Penter miss in their investigation?

Answer: Blake and Jones are homicide detectives. Dr. Rachel Wells was murdered. She did not die from injuries in the crash. She had an anaphylactic allergic reaction to the crushed up nuts in the cookies. Fran had ground up nuts and added them to the cookies. She knew that Rachel was deathly allergic to nuts and that Rachel couldn’t resist anything chocolate. Further, Fran knew that the chocolate taste would disguise the nut taste in the cookies. Fran was still angry about Jon and wanted revenge for all the years she had been alone. Rachel had been eating Fran’s cookies while driving. She was trying to get her Epi Pen when she died of anaphylactic shock. The car then crashed into the tree.  

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
A word I know,
six letters it contains
subtract just one,
and twelve is what remains.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hTE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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