WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 20th, 2026
A Dictionary for Women…..
Argument
(ahr•gyoo•munt) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, and continues until he realizes it.😮
Airhead
(eyr•hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.
(bar•buh•Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced
the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up—for the dinner he made for his friends.”
(blahnd joks) n. Jokes short enough for men to understand.
Cantaloupe
(kant•e•lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze drI•yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dI•it so•duh) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Diamond
(dI-mun) n. Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park.
Eternity
(e•ter•ni•tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise
(ex•er•siz) v. Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow•sree list) n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair dresser
(hare dres•er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.
Hardware store
(hard•wer stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space: once he goes in, he isn’t coming out any time soon.
Housework
(haws•wrk) n. Work around the house including moping and washing dishes.
Childbirth
(chIld•brth) n. You go through 36 hours of contractions. He holds your hand and says, “focus…breathe…push….”
Lipstick
(lip•stik) n. On your lips, a color to enhance your beauty of your mouth. On his collar, a color only a tramp would wear.
Park
(pahrk) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.”
After children, a noun meaning “a place with a swing set and slide”.
Patience
(pay•shuns) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof mascara
(wah•tr•pruf mas•ka•ruh) n. Mascara that comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but not when you try to remove it.
Valentine’s Day
(va•lun•tInz dae) n. A day when you dream of a candle light dinner, diamonds,
and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND`people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Persiflage: Intelligent Insults
As brutality slowly but surely takes over the US TV and motion picture industries,
it is likely to stamp out any memory of the days of civility when a barbed tongue was
as effective as an artesian gusher of profanity. This page is a remembrance to those days
when men and women sharpened their wits rather than their swords as a defense against
friend and enemy. This sort of light-hearted, chit-chatty mockery is known as persiflage.
New witticisms are added to the bottom of the list.
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
—Winston Churchill
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
—Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
—Clarence Darrow
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
—Moses Hadas
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
—Abraham Lincoln
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
—Groucho Marx
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
—Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
—Oscar Wilde
Thurday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Released in 1995, what family movie follows a talking pig who defies
the hefty odds to become a champion sheep-herder?
Answer: The correct answer was Babe! ‘Babe’ was that movie that made you feel guilty for eating bacon. Well, at least for a couple moments. It was released in 1995, and I would love to have been there during the pitch meeting. So, a polite little pig, raised by sheepdogs, decides he would very much like to herd sheep instead of becoming a BLT. The odds are against him as are the general expectations of normal pig behavior. But there’s just no stopping our little pig. Babe works his way toward competitive glory on sheer willpower, good looks, and charm. Somehow the movie worked, and moms everywhere had to deal with their kids being cranky about pork for a month. If you haven’t seen it – and, really, who could blame you? – the movie is live-action, not animated, making it rather unique for the time. It was done thanks to trained animals, animatronics, and some early digital effects that hold up pretty well. I’d love to tell you more, but I… well, I just saw it the one time when it came out. I REALLY like bacon. My doctor says it’s a problem.
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!
Which 1995 crime thriller starring Kevin Spacey dares to ask the question,
just who is that elusive criminal mastermind Keyser Söze?
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Assuming you can’t steal an animal’s sense of hearing, or use an electrical device,
what would you need in order to hear a pin drop from over 20 yards?
Answer: A bowling ball.😁
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Greg, Jane, Amy, Steve, and Katie are five excellent students who attend G. Neus Sr. High. About to graduate, they have each been given a subject and school award. It is up to you, their classmate, to find out which awards each student received and which teacher taught them.
One final note: A valedictorian is the student at the top of the class (with the best grades.) A salutatorian is “second place” and the margin between the two is often very narrow.
- The five students are Jane, the artist, the class president, Greg, and the boy who has Ms. Wint as a teacher.
- With one B on his report card, Steve just barely missed being top of his class. Instead, Jane got the honor.
- The math genius has Ms. Brown as a teacher, while Amy is taught by Mrs. Colt.
- Jane and Amy, who do not speak French, often hang out with the artist during lunch.
- The school awards were the one that went to Greg, the Silver Knight award, the one awarded to the amateur scientist, Steve’s award, and the award given to the student taught by Mr. Allen.
- Katie is not taught by Mr. Allen.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 