Welcome, to Friday, February 5th! You might be a caffeine addict if…

1. You think sleep is for the weak.

2. The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

3. You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.

4. You’ve ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.

5. It’s 6:09 AM and you’re on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.

6. You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.

7. Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.

8. Your heart rate is always in triple digits.

9. Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.

10. You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.

11. You can name the five flavors of JOLT.

12. You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.

12. You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.

14. Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

15. You’ve given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.

16. You’ve ever used the airplane’s Call button just to get a coffee refill.

17. Your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won’t shut anymore.

18. Your slogan is “Save water, drink coffee.”

19. You have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee.

20. You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     
  
Quotes of the Day  

“Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.” – Jackie Gleason

“Good taste is the enemy of comedy.” – Mel Brooks

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first. 

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. 

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. 

We’ve got to speed things up in this hotel. Chef, if a guest orders a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he orders a one-minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out for himself. (A Night in Casablanca) 

Joke of the Day*

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.” The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word “comfortable”. The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, “comfortable?'” The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. The word’s big. She’ll read it slow. – – – –
(“com-for-da-bul” )  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!”   

Answer:Aliens. Hudson from “Aliens” is one of the most quotable characters ever captured on celluloid. He is the one-liner King. In this scene he has just located the Colonists on LV-426 using their ID chips – and he’s quite chuffed about it!   

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Punk. Quarterback Punk.”

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Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Gotta change my answering machine Now that I’m alone Cuz right now it says that we Can’t come to the phone”  

ANSWER:So Sick. The song reached the number one position in both the US and the UK, but also on the World RnB Top 30 Singles. Allegedly the idea for the song comes from something that happened between Ne-Yo and his ex girlfriend. But, come on, who doesn’t get sick of the thousands upon thousands of love songs there are?   

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Shake your money maker Like somebody boutta pay ya Don’t worry about them haters Keep your nose up in the air” 

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

What does the following rebus represent?
August 24th, 2005 at 12:03pm – everybody knows your name.
August 24th, 2005 at 12:18pm – everybody has now forgotten who you are. 

ANSWER: Fifteen minutes of fame. 

 
Friday’s Quizzler is…

The letters below form words that are related to each other. Unscramble them, then find out what they have in common.

1. tnaeha
2. ionpsoed
3. mdertee
4. shnporepee
5. passhteeuh
6. tmairse
7. ynoisdus
8. leohis
9. prtdieaho
10. sitaeh 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS CARRIE PALOMBO AND MS RENNA WILD! INCREDIBLE LADIES!

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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