Welcome, to Thursday, February 25th! Did they really say this? Yep.

“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people” — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

“They’re multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.” — Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

“The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.” — Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on LarryKing Live

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” — Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.” — Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

“When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.” — Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

“It’s like deja vu all over again.” — Yogi Berra

“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese” — Former French President Charles De Gaulle

“The loss of life will be irreplaceable.” — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.” — A congressional
candidate in Texas

“It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.” — Richard M. Nixon

“The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.” — Mr. New Jersey
contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.
  
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday, people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     
  
Quotes of the Day  

“Police in North Carolina are looking for a pregnant woman who attempted to rob a bank at gunpoint. FBI sketch artists
have just released a sonogram. Be careful everyone she is armed and lactating.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1
in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036. Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the
earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t send scissors; that would be impractical.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“According to Newsweek, they’ve now come out with the carbon diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green-house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so bad that you are causing global warming… just stay out of Taco Bell.” -Jay Leno 

Joke of the Day*

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. 
During the discussion, she asked, “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What
will I get?” The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably 20 to life.” 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘There are no more good German songs, only Nazi songs!… And now you come in here, looking for someone to lift your morale? Well I won’t! I won’t.’   
Answer:Swing Kids. This is spoken by Arvid at a club one night! 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘Who’s your daddy, Gary?’ ‘You are.’

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “So go ahead and get gone Call up that chick, and see if shes home Oops I bet you thought, that I didn’t know”  

ANSWER:Irreplaceable. “To the left, to the left”, Beyoncé’s “Irreplacable” of course. And another song that Ne-Yo has co-written.    

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You stand in the line just to hit a new low You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go You tell me your life’s been way off line You’re falling to pieces everytime And I don’t need no carryin’ on…”?

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

There are five people. One of them shot and killed one of the other five. Which man is the murderer?
1. Dan ran in the NY City marathon yesterday with one of the innocent men.
2. Mike considered being a farmer before he moved to the city.
3. Jeff is a topnotch computer consultant and wants to install Ben’s new computer next week.
4. The murderer had his leg amputated last month.
5. Ben met Jack for the first time six months ago.
6. Jack has been in seclusion since the crime.
7. Dan used to drink heavily.
8. Ben and Jeff built their last computers together.
9. The murderer is Jack’s brother. They grew up together in Seattle.

ANSWER: 1. Jack is not the murderer, because he is the brother of the murderer. 2. Dan can’t be the murderer since he ran a marathon, and the murderer recently had his leg amputated, and wouldn’t be running a marathon of any magnitude that quickly. 3. Ben is not the murderer if he just met Jack, since Jack and the murderer grew up together. 4. This leaves Jeff and Mike. Since Jeff is still alive (he wants to install a new computer next week, present tense) he must be the murderer. Mike also didn’t grow up with Jack. It has been determined that Jack, Dan and Jeff are all alive. Ben must also be alive since Jeff plans to install Ben’s computer next week. This means that Jeff killed Mike. 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

What phrase is illustrated below?

You’re having a good time = Time Airways is cleared for takeoff
You’re having a bad time = Time Airways is Delayed 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! WONDERFUL SOLVING JOB JAZZZZZ!

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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