Welcome, ‏to Tuesday October 19, 2010.  Things You’ll Never Hear A Dad Say………

Well, how ’bout that?…

I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.

You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY.

What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

Your mother and I are going away for the weekend…you might want to consider throwing a party.

Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
 
Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

Father’s Day? Aaahh-don’t worry about that-it’s no big deal. 

Hey I’m just saying! Have an interesting Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman
with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s
willing to make a decision she’ll regret in the future.”
–Richard Jeni 
 
“We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath.
‘Well, I’m bored…let’s go brush our teeth.’ Or, ‘I’ve got
to make a phone call, hold this gum in your mouth.'”
–Brad Stine 
 
“I can’t seem to bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll
be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s
that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.” –Robert Benchley  

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.  “Yes, that was it!” “You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!” “Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”    

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “All I ever settled for was that we’re born to live and then to die, and we’ve got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that’s why we’ve got to love those people who deserve it like there’s no tomorrow. Because when you get right down to it…there isn’t.”    

Answer: Vision Quest! This bit of wisdom is from the voice-over of Louden Swain (Matthew Modine), the main character of the film who has just won the wrestling match for which he has spent the entire film training vigorously. “Vision Quest” (1985) seems on the surface to be just a movie about high school wrestling, but it’s really more a coming-of-age story and an compelling romance. Check it out!   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “That won’t be necessary. You see, Sarah, Harold, we’ve taken a secret vote. We’re not leaving. We’re never leaving.”

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “How long do I have to climb up on the side of this mountain of mine?” 

ANSWER: Speed of Sound! This is the first single off of Coldplay’s 2005 album “X & Y”.   

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Everybody’s going to the party have a real good time”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) a nibble in Paris & sudden terror of a judge’s seat
2) one who behaves amorously toward a hatch & soil on a carpet-covered surface
3) comical alp & a source of cash
4) discourteous hill & naked somersault  

ANSWER: 1) French bite & bench fright  2) door flirt & floor dirt  3) funny mountain & money fountain
4) rude knoll & nude roll  

Tuesday’s Quizzler is… 

What does this rebus represent?

gloomy turquoise
temperamental cyan
sullen aquamarine
despondent azure
morose cerulean  

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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