Welcome, ‏to Monday October 18, 2010.  Laws of Household Physics………..

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:

1. A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.

2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.

8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.

11. Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.

Hey I’m just saying! Have an interesting Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.”
– Benny Hill

“A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you”
– Anon

“Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.”
– M. Berle

“I’m gonna live forever, or die trying.”
– Joseph Heller (Catch 22)

“Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.”
– Hubert Humphrey

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.”
Ronald Reagan

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”
– Anon

“I can see clearly now, the brain has gone”
– Anon

“Some people say that one’s personality is reflected off of their car… Well, I have no car.”
– Anon      

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!”
“Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.”  

_________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Isn’t it weird how chairs exist even when you’re not sitting on them?” and “Please take the chairs away. I don’t like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.”  

Answer:  Knocked Up! In “Knocked Up” (2007), Ben (Seth Rogan) meets Alison (Katherine Heigl) at a bar and they go home together. Their one night stand turns into a much more complicated situation when Alison realizes she is pregnant. Alison and Ben have a big fight in the movie, and he takes off to Las Vegas with Alison’s brother-in-law, Pete (Paul Rudd). While in Vegas, the guys take magic mushrooms and enjoy a Cirque de Soleil show before going back to their hotel room where they discover that there are five different types of chairs just in that one suite.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “All I ever settled for was that we’re born to live and then to die, and we’ve got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that’s why we’ve got to love those people who deserve it like there’s no tomorrow. Because when you get right down to it…there isn’t.”

_________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “We keep it ghetto you should know”? 

ANSWER: Ciara! This line came from the song “Oh” by Ciara and Ludacris.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “How long do I have to climb up on the side of this mountain of mine?”

_________________________________________________________________________
 
Friday’s Quizzler is..  

Complete the words below using each letter of the alphabet once only…

li_ _t
_o_an
pu_ _ le
_-r_ _
e_ _l
_ _eer
_cie_ _e
g_ _ let
_u_ge
_ac_et
pu_zl_
_rai_ 

ANSWER:  light, woman, purple, x-ray, evil, queer, science, goblet, fudge
jacket, puzzle, trail  

Monday’s Quizzler is… 

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) a nibble in Paris & sudden terror of a judge’s seat
2) one who behaves amorously toward a hatch & soil on a carpet-covered surface
3) comical alp & a source of cash
4) discourteous hill & naked somersault  

=========================================================
Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.org.  ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com.  www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/