Welcome, ‏to Friday November 12, 2010. Identifying wasted time………
TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation

5316 Useless Meeting

5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5319 Waiting for Break

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker

5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present

5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend

5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You

5481 Buying Snack

5482 Eating Snack

5500 Filling Out Timesheet

5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries

5502 Waiting for Something to Happen

5503 Scratching Yourself

5504 Sleeping

5510 Feeling Bored

5511 Feeling Horny

5600 Complaining About Lousy Job

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5602 Complaining About Long Hours

5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 Complaining About Boss

5605 Complaining About Personal Problems

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu

6102 Ordering Out

6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods

6205 Hiding from Boss

6206 Gossip

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 Updating Resume

6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 Out of Office on Interview

6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)

6602 Complaining

6603 Writing a Book on Company Time

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail

I’m just saying! Have a great Friday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Former President George W. Bush was on ‘Oprah.’ When asked
about being the leader of the free world, Oprah said, ‘It’s
not bad.'” -Conan O’Brien
 
“According to a new poll, New York City gets low ratings for
friendliness. Well, bite me.” -David Letterman
 
“A company in Seattle just came out with a new bacon-flavored
soda. So if you love the taste of bacon and you love the
taste of soda, you’re about to realize how much you love them
separately.” -Jimmy Fallon 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

My musician son decided to play guitar at his own wedding reception. That day, tuning his strings was taking longer than usual. “It’s a little harder to do with a ring on,”
he apologized to the waiting guests. That’s when a man called out, “Everything’s harder with a ring on!”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Do you really believe that there’s some sort of built-up, unresolved tension between us? There is no ‘us’. ‘We’ don’t exist.’  

Answer: Grosse Pointe Blank! Martin Blank (John Cusack) defuses a potentially violent incident with Bob (Michael Cudlitz) at their high school reunion.   

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘The other night I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. I got noodles with ketchup.’

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose, where ever it goes I always know that you make me smile.”

ANSWER: “‘Bubbly”- Colbie Caillat! Colbie Caillat is from Malibu, California. “Bubbly” was her first single off her debut album “Coco”.     

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “No need to worry about everything I’ve done, live every second like it was my last one,”

TODAY’S CRAZY SONG DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! INCREDIBLE MUSICABILITY KIM!

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

Can you find the word within a word for each set of clues listed below? The dashes beside each clue tell you how many letters are in the word you are to find. (ex. A young lion…in skin diving gear = ScubA)

1. A snooze…in a hiking bag: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
2. An armed conflict…in one who lacks courage: __ __ __ __ __ __
3. A line of seats…in a king’s headdress:__ __ __ __ __
4. A brooch…in a statement of belief:__ __ __ __ __ __ __
5. A math term…in a fireman’s climbing apparatus:__ __ __ __ __ __

ANSWER:  1. KnapSACK, 2. COwarD, 3. CrowN, 4. OpinION, 5. LaddER

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

Locate each missing letter noted. Guessed correctly and placed expertly, the answer will please all who see.
LEM?N
G?APE
?AWPAWS

Oh, and the correct answers are NOT O, R, and P. That would be too easy.  

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS ANDREA L. BANKS AND SWEETJAZZ5! GREAT JOB BANKS AND JAZZZZZZ!

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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