Welcome, ‏to Monday November 15, 2010.  If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules”……….

Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done — not both.

Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 7 When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary. 

I’m just saying! Have a great Monday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

Marriage quotes……….

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. — John Lyly 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, “Four.”

The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was, “How much is two plus two?” Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, “Four.”

The lawyer was interviewed last, and again the final question was, “How much is two plus two?” The lawyer drew all the shades in the room, looked outside to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and then whispered, “How much do you want it to be?”  

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘The other night I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. I got noodles with ketchup.’ 

Answer: Good Fellows! Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) laments the downside of his new life in the federal witness relocation program.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘Ernest Hemingway once wrote: ‘The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “No need to worry about everything I’ve done, live every second like it was my last one,”  

ANSWER:  “Tattoo”- Jordin Sparks! Jordin Sparks was the winner of the season six of “American Idol”, becoming the youngest winner up to that time. “Tattoo” is from her self-titled album, which was released on November 20, 2007.   

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame, I’d even cut my hair and change my name.”  

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  

Locate each missing letter noted. Guessed correctly and placed expertly, the answer will please all who see.

LEM?N
G?APE
?AWPAWS

Oh, and the correct answers are NOT O, R, and P. That would be too easy. 

ANSWER:  The correct answer is L, C and T .  The Letters shown do not spell out types of fruit, they are the first letters from each word that makes up the teaser question ie
(L)ocate (E)ach (M)issing (L)etter (N)oted. (G)uessed (C)orrectly (A)nd (P)laced (E)xpertly, (T)he (A)nswer (W)ill (P)lease (A)ll (W)ho (S)ee.

Monday’s Quizzler is… 

Each of the clues below describe a name of a candy. Can you name that candy? Example: Earth’s neighbor = Mars.

1. Quiet giggles from the back of the room
2. Infant child of The Sultan of Swat (2)
3. Cow juice / cowboy clothes (2)
4. Baby chick chirps
5. Male parental unit that plays guitar (2)

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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