WELCOME to Friday, December 10, 2010.

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It’s all in the grip.

Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it.

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.

Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would’ve done it.

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.

Q: What’s the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn’t!

Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Friday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

“Because of a printing error, a billion new $100 bills have
to be destroyed. They’re going to burn $100 billion dollars
— just like they did with the last stimulus.” -Jay Leno

“Oprah flew her audience on an eight-day journey across
Australia. Not to be outdone, I will drive two of my audience
members to Outback Steakhouse. But they’re paying.”
-Conan O’Brien

“A Chinese passenger train just broke a record by hitting
302 miles per hour. Passengers called it ‘a thrilling ex-
perience,’ while the guy in the bathroom called it ‘the
worst day of my life.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes.

An attorney I know once drafted wills for an elderly husband and wife who had been somewhat apprehensive about discussing death. When they arrived to sign the documents, he ushered
the couple into his office. “Now,” he said to them, “which one of you wants to go first?”
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘And there he goes, up to his room to write the new hit song, ‘Alone In My Principles’!’

Answer: That Thing You Do! Rhythm guitarist Lenny Haise (Steve Zahn) tosses a sarcastic barb at The Wonders’ front man James Mattingly III (Johnathan Schaech) as he storms away from a minor squabble with the rest of the band.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.’
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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Stacks on deck, Patron on ice, we could pop bottles all night”

ANSWER: Whatever You Like! “Whatever You Like” was the first single released from T.I.’s number one album “Paper Trail” which went platinum along with the song. “Whatever You Like” debuted at number 99 on August 23rd, 2008 and, during its 31 week run on the Hot 100, it remained in the top ten for 19 weeks, and the top 40 for 29 weeks. It hit number one three times during its seven non-consecutive weeks on top, only the third single in chart history to achieve this feat. T.I.’s follow-up “Live Your Life” went to number one and stayed there for six weeks in the fall. While “Live Your Life” was a bigger hit abroad, “Whatever You Like” managed to reach the top in New Zealand and the top 50 in over a half dozen other countries.

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008 try and identify which song or which artist.” “This club has got to be the most pretentious thing since I thought you and me”
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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

Insert one word in each pair to link the two words together. The end of the first word is the beginning of the second.
1. Rain___Tie
2. Tooth__Tale
3. Sea____Hole
4. Circuit__Yard
5. Third___Board
6. Stone__Flower
7. High___Star

ANSWER: 1. Bow, 2. Fairy, 3. Port, 4. Court, 5. Base
6. Wall, 7. Five

Friday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser, I will give you a list of clues and the answer, with all the letters, but the word year, missing. Your job is to figure out what to add to the word year to get the answer to the clue.

Example: Reading Glasses = *Y**EAR
Answer: EYEWEAR

1. Word for word, without reading = *Y *EAR*
2. New York Birthplace of F.D.R. = *Y*E *AR*
3. Caveat Emptor = **YE* ***AR*
4. Person engaged in reverie = **Y**EA**R
5. Student at Harvard or Yale, e.g. = **Y *EA***R
6. Seafood restaurant = *Y**E* *AR
7. Old sage who doesn’t shave = ***Y*EAR*
8. Extra-powerful, souped up = *Y*E***AR***
9. Absolutely transparent = **Y**** **EAR
10. Place to drop off clothes = **Y **EA**R
11. Jellystone resident = Y*** *EAR
12. Headache remedy since 1899 = **YE* A***R**

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB JAZZZZZZZ!

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 Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/