WELCOME to Tuesday, January 4, 2010. Excuses for Sleeping…… 

Excuses To Use When Caught Sleeping At Work! 

They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter – not harder.

Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout.

I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

I’m in the management training program.

I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?

No! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broken….

Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.

I’m just resting my eyes.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday, and whatever you do this next year, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here! 

q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

“Health experts are now concerned that this bad economy may be causing Americans to gain weight. They call it recession pounds. You heard about this? You put on recession pounds during economic hardship. So guys, if your wife or girlfriend says, ‘Do these pants make me look like we’re in a  recession?’ be careful what you say.” –Jay Leno 

“A new study found that good-looking people are more likely  to have daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely to have cats.” -Jimmy Fallon 

“This week a man in Florida was arrested for hitting the manager of a Taco Bell in the face with a bag full of

Tacos. Afterwards, the Taco Bell manager said, ‘It’s weird, my tacos usually don’t attack me until I’m in the bathroom.'”

-Conan O’Brien

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘I would kill or die to make love to you.’ 

Answer: Gotcha! Jonathan (Anthony Edwards) has been advised by his best friend to use this line on the first beautiful woman he meets in Germany. He does so, which gets him into more trouble than he bargained for with CIA operative Cheryl Brewster (a.k.a. Sasha Banniczek, played by Linda Fiorentino). 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “You got me begging you for Mercy why won’t you release me? 

Answer:”Mercy” – Duffy! This song was from the album “Rockferry”. It was released on February, 25 2008. 

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008 try and identify which song or which artist.””She got her own thing That’s why I love her 

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Monday’s Quizzler is.. 

And now for more in the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights: 

1. Mnds r lk prchts – th nl fnctn whn pn. 

2. Bwr f smll xpnss, smll lk wll snk grt shp. 

3. Prblms cnnt b slvd t th sm lvl f wrnss tht crtd thm. 

ANSWER: 1. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.

Bonus: Thomas Dewar. He played the pipes in 1885, successfully annoying everyone else there. 

2. Beware of small expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship.

Bonus: Benjamin Franklin. 

3. Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.

Bonus: Albert Einstein. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is… 

What’s so peculiar about this sentence? 

I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications’ incomprehensibleness. 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND SWEETJAZZ5! WONDERFUL JOB LADIES! 

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Answers in WEDNESDAY Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

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