WELCOME to Thursday, February 17, 2010. School Homework…..

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

Hey I’m just saying!  Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Bill Cosby….

A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know when I lost it. I don’t know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss’s job and I do not want it.

People will frighten you about a graduation….They use words you don’t hear often… “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Gray hair is God’s graffiti.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

When you become senile, you won’t know it.

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h
Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.  Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said, “Don’t worry. Someday your prints will come”. 
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?‘Oh, I see. With all the poor people in this city, who wanted only to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die and not go through with it? You make me sick!’  

Answer: ‘Bringing Out The Dead’
Martin Scorcese directed Nicolas Cage in this film, also starring then wife Patricia Arquette, about a guilt-ridden, burnt out paramedic unraveling over a 72 hr. period. Based on the novel of the same title by Joe Connelly, a former paramedic.
   
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “The vessel with the pestle, has the potion with the lotion.”
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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t. Depends on how the wind blows, I might even paint my toes. It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul.”  

Answer: India.Arie
From “Video”. This song was nominated for a Grammy, but didn’t win.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist.“I’m lost in a crowd, trying to find my way but the rain keeps falling down…doesn’t matter anyway.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..
This teaser is in honor of man’s quest to quench his thirst with non-alcoholic beverages. Can you figure out what drinks are depicted below?

1. Joint between thigh and lower leg + having great elevation + yielding readily to pressure + swallowing liquid contents.

2. A practitioner of medicine + spicy hot pod like fruit that grows on plants.

3. Dried and powdered rhizome used as spice + another name for beer.

4. Underground portion of a plant + another name for ale.

5. A natural elevation of the earth’s surface having considerable mass and a height greater than that of a hill + water droplets condensed from the air.

6. A powder made from cacao seeds + tropical African evergreen plant having reddish fragrant nutlike seeds.

ANSWER: 1. Nehi Soft Drink. (Knee + high + soft + drink.)
2. Dr Pepper. (Doctor + pepper.), 3. Ginger Ale. (Ginger + ale.)
4. Root Beer. (Root + beer.), 5. Mountain Dew. (Mountain + Dew.)
6. Coca-Cola. (Cocoa + Kola.)

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:

1. Matthew [ ] Mason
2. Bruce [ ] Majors
3. Larry [ ] [ ] Fonda
4. Ashley [ ] [ ] Mandela
5. Rick [ ] [ ] [ ] Luther 

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB ANDREA!

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Answers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/