WELCOME to Thursday, September 15, 2011.  Deep Thoughts….

It you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid, my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one of us. It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They’re sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.

If you drop your keys into molten lava just let ’em go ’cause, man, they’re gone.

Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see.

Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, “Okay, as long as it’s not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know.” He stared telling his story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: “This story isn’t too long.” But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, “Uh-oh, this story is getting long.” But then the story was over, and I said to myself: “You know, that story wasn’t too long after all.” I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have an  incredible Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.
Sarah Bernhardt

Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed. Unknown

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.
Anthony Robbins

I look at life as a gift of God. Now that he wants it back I have no right to complain. Joyce Cary

The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.
Pierre de Courbertin

Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you. Wayne Dyer

Life beats down and imprisons the soul and art reminds you that you have one. Stella Adler

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.  The bartender asks “He can drink?”  “Oh, sure. He can drink.” So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.  “That’s amazing” says the bartender. “What else can he do, can he walk?” The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey, Jake. Go get that.” The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.  The bartender is in total shock. “That’s amazing” he says, “what else can he do? Does he talk?” The man says “Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor’s powers!”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Fame lasts for 15 minutes, infamy lasts a little longer.’Answer:‘The Insider’. Christopher Plummer as Mike Wallace gave us this little gem of a line.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘You break his heart again and I’ll kill you. Nothing personal.’

__________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.“And now, we seem to celebrate. Champagne spilling from the wall, but we don’t have a ball”? Answer: Commander. “Commander”, from Kelly Rowland’s self titled 2010 album, reached number nine on the UK charts.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Dreams of ways to see you, I could close my eyes to see. I could fantasize about you, tell the world what I have seen.”

___________________________________________________________________________________