WELCOME to Wednesday, September 14, 2011.  Signs that you are really broke…..

1. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”

2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

3. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

4. You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe.

5. The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.

6. Your bologna has no first name.

7. You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

8. You rob Peter…and then rob Paul.

9. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

10. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

Bonus Sign: You give blood everyday – for the orange juice. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful  Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 “There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.” – Muhammad Ali

“He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit.” – Sir Walter Scott

“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.” – Groucho Marx

“Hey, I read about a McDonald’s in California that was built with mostly recycled synthetic material. Which is ironic because recycled synthetic material is also the main ingredient in a McRib.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing.” -David Letterman

“People around the world think America is the coolest country. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an explosion to walk away from while I put on sunglasses in slow motion.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.  “I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something.” she suggested.  “I don’t have a girlfriend,” I answered. “No girlfriend? Why not?” “My wife won’t let me.”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘How’s it hanging?’ ‘Down around my ankles.’Answer: ‘LA Confidential’. Danny Devito said the second line, ironic considering how short he is (it’s a relative measure).

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Fame lasts for 15 minutes, infamy lasts a little longer.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.“So I said. What you say girl it can’t be right. How can you be in love with me? We only just met tonight.”  Answer: She Said. Plan B is a British singer from London. His main chart toppers are “Praying” and “She Said”.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “And now, we seem to celebrate. Champagne spilling from the wall, but we don’t have a ball”?

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