Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday April 17, 2012.  …. 
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that  English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a  gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide  variety of work,
it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE: Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a  fire under it… and,
of course, there’s the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

MAGIC 8 BALL: Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers that  usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see  right through them.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but  it’s handy to have around.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female…Ha!…you thought I’d say male. But consider, it  gives a man pleasure,
he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know  the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

CRITIC: Female, What, this needs to be explained?

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The deadline to file your tax returns is coming up. You only have a couple days left to frantically dig through your car for Burger King receipts that you can claim were business dinners later on.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Researchers at the University College of London report that indoor heating makes us fat. They say cold air helps us stay thin. Unless, of course, that blast of cold air you’re getting is from constantly opening the refrigerator door.” -Jay Leno

“A woman recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy while she was onboard a Delta flight marking the first time someone flying Delta actually arrived early.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance. The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change. As he put his arms around me, he declared, “Wow, Mom, you smell just like Froot Loops!”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘It’s okay. I wouldn’t remember me either.’  Answer: American Beauty. Starring Kevin Spacey & Annette  Bening.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘I’m a spoke on a wheel. I am, and so are you.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. MOLE – ________ – TOP 2. DEER – ________ – TIGHT 3. WOOD – _______ – HEAD
ANSWER: 1. MOLE – HILL – TOP. 2. DEER – SKIN – TIGHT. 3. WOOD – BLOCK – HEAD

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….

You are on your way to visit your Grandma, who lives at the end of the valley. It’s her birthday, and you want to
give her the cakes you’ve made. Between your house and her house, you have to cross 7 bridges, and as it goes
in the land of make believe, there is a troll under every bridge! Each troll, quite rightly, insists that you pay a troll
toll. Before you can cross their bridge, you have to give them half of the cakes you are carrying, but as they are
kind trolls, they each give you back a single cake.

How many cakes do you have to leave home with to make sure that you arrive at Grandma’s with exactly 2 cakes?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send   an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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