WELCOME to Wednesday August 7, 2013.
How the world works lately…..
If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,
He blames the restaurant.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,
Your family blames the Tobacco company.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk,
He blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners,
You blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,
You blame the gun manufacturer..
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot
at 35,000 feet, and the passengers Kill him instead,
The mother of the crazed deceased Blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to Understand the world
As it is anymore.
So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED BOTTOM is parked in front of this computer….
I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“This is the 26th year of shark week. Shark week is so awesome. I’m surprised other networks don’t also have shark-themed programming Shows like ‘Sharks and Recreation,’ ‘How I Ate Your Mother,’ and ‘The Tonight Show With Jaws Leno.'” -Craig Ferguson
“The NFL is about to get its first full-time female referee. Good for them. It will be a little different though. When a player asks her what he did wrong, she’ll say ‘Oh, you know what you did.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“There is a big fight in the Republican Party between Chris Christie and Rand Paul. In an effort to end the spat, Paul offered to have a beer with Christie. But Christie refused. Christie said, ‘It’s going to take a lot more than a beer to win me over. You’re going to need wings, stuffed potato skins, ribs, I need the whole deal.'” -Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.
When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, “I don’t mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?”
To which the trucker replied, “Sorry, can’t talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep half of them flying at all times.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves love brokers!”
Answer: Night Shift! This quote comes from the scene on the train where Bill is trying to convince Chuck (Henry Winkler) of the reasons that they should run the prostitute service out of the City Morgue.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “What am I gonna say? I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.
Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw
1. Fundamental * Where the doctor works on a naval ship
2. Government assistance for the poor * Goodbye
3. Worst possible Test Score * Optimistic
4. Relevant * What Jesus was born in
5. Sofa * Cups, saucers, sugar bowl, etc. (2 words)
ANSWER:1. Basic / Sick Bay
2. Welfare / Farewell
3. Zero / Rosy
4. Germane / Manger
5. Settee / Tea Set
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Hearing: 3 units
Sight: 0 units
Smell: 1 unit
Taste: 5 units
Mind: 0 units
Feeling: 6 units
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
The World According to the Eucman! 