WELCOME to Thursday, April 27, 2017.
10 Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House…..
1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing are both helpful in home repair… but only if you are working alone.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can… many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it’s electronic, get a new one.
6. Keep it simple: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the “on” switch; or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have fixed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“American Airlines is under fire after one of its flight attendants allegedly yanked a stroller away from a mother with a baby.
Passengers were outraged that the attendant took the stroller and not the baby.” -Conan O’Brien
“A major food company has recalled two types of frozen hash browns because the potatoes may contain pieces of golf balls.
Doctors say if you’ve already ingested pieces of golf balls, the best thing is to just let them play through.” -James Corden
“A New Jersey restaurant has begun selling a massive taco-covered pizza for $75. ‘Seems a little steep,’ said a
customer who was looking at the three steps in front of the restaurant.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
But baby pigeon said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get too tired.” His mother said, “Don’t worry; I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.”
The baby started to cry.
“What’s wrong?” said the mother.
“I don’t want to be pigeon towed!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.’
ANSWER: Dead Poets Society! English teacher John Keating, played by Robin Williams, gives the boys some words to live by.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
‘If we’d made love last night, I’d have to stay. Or you’d have to leave.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Beethoven was a lover of teasers of all kinds, and often submitted the following to his friends.
What word can be created when following these directions?
1) Start at D.
2) Go up Eight.
3) Go down Eleven.
4) Go up Five.
What word is it?
ANSWER: Deaf. Beethoven was a composer, obviously, and utilized the Musical Key in this teaser. When he says “Go up Eleven”, he is referring to the letters “ABCDEFG.” Going up Eight notes from ‘D’ brings us to ‘E’ (because, of course, the musical scale simply repeats itself in the next octave). Going down Eleven notes brings us to ‘A’, and going up Five notes brings us to ‘F’. Hence, DEAF (which, incidentally, Beethoven was).
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out this rebus?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/