Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Friday, April 28, 2017.    

Weekend Ponderings…… 
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead?”
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA – I came, I saw, I shopped.
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
Strange! No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and…
If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Try a little kindness. As little as possible. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
I love playing cards with children. They can’t tell you’re dealing off the bottom of the deck.
Remember: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar… Of course, how you spend your leisure time is your business.
A man’s best friend is his dog. That’s assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.
If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
A rose by any other name would stick you just as bad and draw just as much blood when you grab a thorn.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…  “Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” –Nathaniel Hawthorne
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” –Albert Einstein
“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” –Anonymous
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” –Anonymous
“What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable.” –Anonymous
“Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –Lolly Daskal
“Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.” –Anonymous
“Knowledge is being aware of what you can do. Wisdom is knowing when not to do it.” –Anonymous
“Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem.” –Anonymous
“You can do anything, but not everything. –Anonymous
“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” –Steve Jobs
“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world:
those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” –Ray Goforth

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.
A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
“I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it.”
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, ” What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
“‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave.”😔

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

‘If we’d made love last night, I’d have to stay. Or you’d have to leave.’
ANSWER: Witness! My favorite Harrison Ford movie. He plays John Book, a cop who is forced to take hiding in
Amish country. He says this to Rachel, the Amish woman he has fallen in love even though he knows he can’t be with her. 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
‘To a cop the explanation’s always simple. There’s not a mystery to the street, no arch-criminal behind it all. If you find a body and you think his brother did it, you’re gonna find out you’re right.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is………. Can you figure out this rebus?
ANSWER: Dr. Dolittle. In the body, do is little in the word doctor, therefore, Dr. Dolittle.
The title is a hint also by the animal sounds representing the animals that Dr. Dolittle could talk to.

Friday’s Quizzler is………. In this teaser, I have given you a saying concealed in the lines below. I have broken up each word into single letters, but have paired the correct letter with an incorrect one. Your task is to remove the incorrect letter and then decide where the words begin and end. Have fun!

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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