WELCOME to Wednesday, June 7, 2017.
Hallmark Card Rejects…….
“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What the #$&@* was I thinking?”
“Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.”
“How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?”
“I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”
“I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in hell until I met you.”
“As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”
“If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it’s your sister.”
“As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you’ve given me. Like the need for therapy.”
“Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before this!”
“Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back? You’ll probably need it again.”
“Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.”
“Happy Birthday! You look great for your age – almost life like!”
“I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”
“We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits?”
“I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.”
“Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?”
“You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket. I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.”
“Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday – so we’re having you put to sleep.”
AND that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
Old Chinese Proverbs….
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him.
Man who streaks is unsuited for his work.
Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end.
Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches rear should not bite fingernails.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two buddies were getting dressed in the locker room after a workout, when the first man saw something that give him a bit of a shock.
“How long have you been wearing that bra?” the man asked his friend.
The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”😱😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.’
ANSWER: Tombstone! Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday was *the* reason to watch this movie.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Dyin’ ain’t much of a living, boy.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
If you multiply together the number of fingers on one person’s right hand to another person’s to another person’s till you get the product of the fingers on the right hands of everyone in the world, what is the most likely product?
For instance, one person has 5 fingers, and his friend has 5 fingers. The product is 25. Another person with 5 fingers would make the product 125. This goes on till everyone’s finger number is multiplied.
What’s the answer?
ANSWER: 0. There just needs to be one person without any fingers to cause the product to be 0.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Complete the word square by inserting the 9 letters into the grid, to create the same words reading down & across.
D E E L L L O O O
E A C H
A _ _ _
C _ _ _
H _ _ _
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/