Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday, August 10, 2017.       
Thinking out loud……… 
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A day without sunshine is like…, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
OK,….. so what’s the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Thursday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A school district in Florida is eliminating homework for all school students this year.
Officials say it’s fine because a lot of students are already reading at a fifth grade level.
Unfortunately a lot of those students are in 10th grade.” -James Corden
“ABC is dropping plans for a live musical of ‘The Little Mermaid’ because of budget issues. Also, because nobody can hold their breath underwater for two hours.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The WWE has trademarked the Bible verse numbers 3:16. It refers to one of the Bible’s most quoted verses, John 3:16: ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that those who believe in him shall not die but have eternal life.’ Or, as the WWE will now put it,’Christ-a-mania is running wild! Woo, baby!'” -Stephen Colbert
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply…
“Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down
by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics.”😐😎


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“How do we seem to you? Do you find us beautiful, magical? Our white skin, our fierce eyes? “Drink” you ask me, do you have any idea of the thing you will become?”
ANSWER: Interview With the Vampire! This is when Claudia brought a woman to Louis for him to change for her. His words were spoken to the woman. I liked the movie…I still have yet to read the book, but I hear it is better. 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 “Shop smart, shop S-mart!”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
I was on a road trip with a friend when we drove past a very tall radio tower. I told my friend “That thing has to be at least a thousand feet tall!” He looked out the window for a moment, and said “I’ll bet it’s closer to 1500 feet.” We stopped at a gas station and asked how tall the tower was, and it was exactly 1500 feet tall! Now that I owe my friend a steak dinner, how could he tell how tall the tower was?
ANSWER: Radio towers are always painted with alternating red and white stripes. If the tower is over 700 feet tall, every stripe is 100 feet high. My friend just counted the 15 stripes and knew immediately it was 1500 feet tall. This only works if it’s over 700 feet; if it’s under 700 feet, the tower will always have seven stripes. Bonus Factoid: The top stripe on the tower is always red.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    
Mice are famous for their ability to multiply at breakneck speeds. The type of mouse we have here gives birth once a month, birthing 12 babies each time. Baby mice mature and can give birth two months after they are born.
You picked up one of these cute baby mice at the pet shop and brought it home the day
after it was born. In 10 months from now, how many mice will you have?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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