Tuesday, December 12, 2017

WELCOME to Tuesday, December 12, 2017.                               
Funny definitions – the real meanings of words 
Cabal: Transport everybody by taxi.
Cabbage: The age of a taxi
Cabinet Pudding: School pudding made from furniture
Cachepot: Poker ante.
Cactus: (1) Mother Nature’s pincushion. (2) An overgrown pin cushion
Cadet: A little female rascal.
Caesar: (1) Convulsion. (2) Observes the woman.
Cafeteria: Area of young, crying cows.
Cagey Bee: Soviet secret police.
Cagey: Abbrev. for kilogram.
Cagoule: Ghost’s favorite raincoat
Calculate: Finish maths test ages after everyone else
Calcutta: Telling surgeon Calvin to begin surgery on the female patient.
Caldron: Phoned Ronald.
Calgary: Introducing Calvin to Garrett.
Call For: What a golfer should do before teeing off.
Call Out: What an umpire does.
Callous: Used the phone, because we’re so lonely. 
Calories: A lot of people can’t count calories and have the figures to prove it.
Calves: The two animals that follow your every step.
Camel: A warped horse
Camelot: (1) A herd of dromedaries (2) Arabian parking lot.
Campaign: The worst kid in camp
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and 
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“The birthrate in the United States is at an all-time low. Whereas
our death rate is still holding strong at 100 percent.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Amazon is now making it possible to create a shopping profile for your
cat. Yeah, all you have to do is go to Amazon and type in
‘I am single.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans’
favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne,
I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
“Do you remember first meeting your wife?”
“Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised
her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never
allow her near the gutter again.”
“Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her.”
“Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling.” 😐


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  

‘We all see what we want to see. Coffey looks and he sees Russians. He sees hate
and fear. You have to look with better eyes than that.’
ANSWER: The Abyss! Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio’s character says this when tensions
rise between the civilian divers and Navy SEALS trying to recover an American nuclear
submarine in James Cameron’s wonderful sci-fi flick. 
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

Mathilda: ‘Leon, I think I’m falling in love with you. It’s the first time for me, you know?’
Leon: ‘How do you know it’s love if you’ve never been in love before?’
Mathilda: ‘Cause I feel it.’
Leon: ‘Where?’
Mathilda: ‘In my stomach. It’s all warm. I always had a knot there and now, . . . it’s gone.’
Leon: ‘Mathilda, I’m glad you don’t have a stomach ache any more. I don’t think it means anything.’


Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of these pairs of words is a rhyme for a familiar phrase. (ex: car and ride = far and wide)
1. Toe and shell
2. Side and coup
3. Graze and greens
4. Frost and ground
5. Hutch and row
6. Fume and chord
7. Splash and harry
8. Dyed and pique
ANSWER: 1. Show and tell  2. Tried and true  3. Ways and means  4. Lost and found  5. Touch and go

6. Room and board  7. Cash and carry  8. Hide and seek


Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Welcome! My desk can be called the NICETIES PORT,
I know who comes and goes; I have ENTIRE OPTICS.
I often serve another role, not as a TIE INSPECTOR,
But as one who writes memos and NOTICES TRIPE.
My notes are complete, not just TOPIC ENTRIES,
I’m often asked for details and to RECITE POINTS.
Photocopier problems? I can help with TINT, RECOPIES,
I track expenses, I am who you bring RECEIPTS IN TO.
Who am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/


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