Friday, December 15, 2017

WELCOME to Friday, December 15, 2017.                               
The Funniest Names in English
Women’s Names…..
• B •
Name         Description
Barb Dwyer A woman of caustic wit.
Barbara Seville My favorite hair dresser.
Barbie Dahl A cutie pie, prissy girl, perky, beautiful girl.
Bea Heine A horse’s patootie of a woman.
Bella Donna Belle O’Donnaugh’s stage name.
Belle O’Donnaugh A woman whose last 3 husbands died under mysterious circumstances.
Bertha D. Blues A jazz singer and mother of the Blues Brothers.
Beryl O’Laughs A woman always in cheerful spirits.
Beryl O’Voyle Daughter of an oil magnate.
Bette Noire The mean-spirited sister of Guy Noir.
Betty Diddit A woman who always looks like she just left the bed.
Betty Dident A woman who is discriminating in her boy friends.
Blanche Dwight A fearful woman.
Bonnie Lass A nice girl, probably of Irish origins.
Brea Little A moderately religious woman.
Brooke Trout A rather cold woman who loves to fish.
• C •
Name         Description
Candy Cain The sweetest li’l ol’ thing you’ll ever meet.
Candy Storr A beautiful but somewhat chubby girl.
Carmen Ghia A woman on the road most of the time.
Carrie Oakley One of the worst singers you’ve ever heard.
Cass Abba A South American popular singer.
Celia Feight A woman you don’t want to get involved with.
Charity Ball A wealthy altruistic do-gooder.
Charlotte Russe An epicurean socialite here in Smoketown.
Cherry Pitts A bipolar woman.
Claire Voyant A woman who can see into your soul.
Claire Waters A woman with a problem-free life.
Clara Sill A girl just getting over a bad case of zits.
Constance Noring A lazy, soporific, vapid young girl.
Constance Waring A woman known for her billingsgate.
Cookie Baker A woman you want to invite to your bake sale.
Cookie Cutter A pretty girl: pretty much like any other.
Cora Nappel She makes the best apple pie in the world.
Correy Publican A right-wing, conservative politician.
Crystal Ball A mystic who tells your fortune on line.
Crystal Glass A mystic who communicates with the dead.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“It is officially one week until Christmas. That means if you’re a guy,
you have six days until you have to start shopping.” -Conan O’Brien
“Ninety-nine percent of the eggnog purchased all year is purchased during the
week before Christmas. And 99 percent of that eggnog is poured down
the drain during the week after Christmas.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“We are just one week away from Christmas. Which means today is that special
day when husbands tell their wives, ‘I give up. Just tell me what you want.'” -Jimmy Fallon


 G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Since I had been selling water beds for almost four years, I thought I had heard every
question imaginable. But then a customer asked me, “Can you deliver it filled with water?”
Stunned, I replied, “Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!”
After a short pause, she said, “Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?”😐


Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I’m, like, 98% excited, and maybe 2% scared. Or maybe it’s backwards. Maybe I’m 98% scared, and, like, 2% excited. But that’s what makes it so great – I’m so confused!’
ANSWER: Armageddon! Owen Wilson’s character says this line. This movie was directed by Michael Bay, who went on to do ‘Pearl Harbor’ (2001). ‘Armageddon’ stank, in my opinion. I think most people turned out because of the star power, but lord only knows how they got those actors to sign on with a script like that one (except for that ever-persuasive promise of money). 
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

 ‘I’m scared to close my eyes. I’m scared to open them.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
The following group of numbers represents an 11-letter word. Can you figure out the word?
ANSWER: Imagination! Look on a telephone; the first row is what number to look on.
The second row is which letter to look at!

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. Long depression between heights -> Narrow passage between walls
2. Selling -> Ceasing; conclusion
3. Spew out -> Leave out
4. Justify; show to be blameless -> Point out
5. Moral weakness -> Frozen water
6. Personal guarantee -> Expression of pain
7. Making a promise -> Due for payment
8. Boast; self-praise -> Female relative
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at



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