WELCOME to Wednesday, January 24, 2018.
Funny News Headlines…
Something Went Wrong in Plane Crash, Expert Says
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Miner Refuses to Work after Death
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
New Study of Obesity Looks for larger test group
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss
“Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.” —Theodore Roosevelt
“The only person you should try to be better than is the person
you were yesterday.” —Anonymous
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made
a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” —Harvey Fierstein
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” —Eleanor Roosevelt
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.
The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An angel appears at a meeting of religious leaders and tells their leader that
in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, God will reward him
with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the leader selects infinite wisdom.
‘Done!’ says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the leader, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
One of the others whispers, ‘Say something.’
The leader sighs and says, ‘I should have taken the money.’😐
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘It’s only love. What’s everyone so scared of?’
ANSWER: Get Real! Ben Silverstone’s character says this in the classic British coming-of-age story.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Michael… I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years, I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and… well, now I’m just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me
make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn’t it?’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a thin flat piece cut from something & to unite two pieces by connecting the ends together (5 letters)
2) the total admission receipts for an event & a striped or clouded quartz (4 letters)
3) to bury & to confine or impound (5 letters)
4) blemish or imperfection & to turn aside (6 letters)
ANSWER: 1) slice & splice 2) gate & agate 3) inter & intern 4) defect & deflect
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Eagle-eye Ixolite, the world famous dart player, was at an exhibition match and was showing off to the audience.
“I can throw a dart and it will hit the board anywhere I want!” he cried. “Where on the board shall I put my next dart?” he asked the crowd.
A small boy came up to Eagle-Eye and passed him a slip of paper. Eagle-eye, who liked a rebus,
took one look at the note, threw his head back and laughed, then threw the dart. Where did it land?
This is what was on the note:
Perfume Bottle R.I.P.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org