Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday February 5, 2018.

Wrinkles don’t hurt.
Laughing is good exercise – it’s like jogging on the inside.
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry.
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don’t cry because it is over; smile because it happened.
There’s always going to be people that hurt you, so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just
be more careful about who you trust next time around.
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.
Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time.
Don’t wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“After Trump’s State of the Union speech, Massachusetts Congressman Joe
Kennedy became one of the youngest people to give the Democratic response.
And you could tell he was young when all he said was, ‘He cray.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Google has a new service called ‘Flights’ that is now able to predict flight delays.
How it works is, if you’re flying United, your flight’s delayed.” -Conan O’Brien
“Police in Philadelphia have announced they will not grease light poles ahead of the
Super Bowl because the grease did not deter people from climbing poles following
the NFC championship game. In fact, all it did was made them impossible to arrest.” -Seth Meyers
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.
“I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old,” I said to my husband, hoping he’d take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present.
“Or,” he offered instead, “it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old.” 😐
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“I’m not a nymphomaniac, I’m a compulsive liar”?
ANSWER: The Breakfast Club! Released in 1985, directed by John Hughes, and starring Molly Ringwold,
Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez and Anthony Michael Hall. The above quote is Alison’s (Ally Sheedy)
confession. It comes shortly after her confession; ‘I’d do that, I’d do anything sexual and
I don’t need a million dollars to do it.’
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“They melvined me.” Who did, Bill and Ted, or Wayne and Garth?
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Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are anagrams of some musical instruments popular in a particular style of music.
Your task is to discover what these instruments are and the style of music. I have placed the number of letters in brackets if there are two words. Good luck.
Term put
Clear tin
Bent room
Air tug
O! A pin
A U.S. bobsled (6, 4)
A drab show
ANSWER:

Trumpet
Clarinet
Trombone
Guitar
Piano
Double Bass
Washboard
The style of music is traditional jazz.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
A man picked up a plastic water bottle and filled it to the rim with water. He put a ketchup sachet in it and closed it up.
The man approached a woman and said, “If you can solve how this works, I’ll give you a dollar.”
The man said “down” and the sachet of ketchup suddenly went down. Then he said “up” and it went up. Then he said “down”, and when it was halfway down, he said “stay” and it stayed.
How did he do this?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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