Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Tuesday February 6, 2018.
Thoughts to get through a Crisis!  
Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them
and hope they panic, and then give in.
Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.
The fact that you believe in something does not make it true.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
No matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion – not proof – to destroy it.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
It is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
You can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
Ex-wives and Ex-husbands are like fungus, and keep coming back.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
We are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
“A man in Massachusetts went to claim a $10,000 lottery prize and found out that
he misread the ticket and won $1 million. Later, his wife said, ‘Did you get
the $10,000?’ He was like, ‘Yes.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The preserved forearm of a 16th century saint is on a tour across Canada. And get
this… tickets are still available!” -Conan O’Brien
“United Airlines prevented a woman from boarding her flight out of Newark, New Jersey, because she tried to board with an emotional-support pet, which was her peacock. They were all set to let both of them on, but then they caught the peacock with over three and a half ounces of shampoo.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked, “Father, what’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.” 😁😎
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“They melvined me.” Who did, Bill and Ted, or Wayne and Garth?
ANSWER: Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey! ‘Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey’ was the 1991 sequel to ‘Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure.’ Starring Keanu Reeves and Alex Winters. Bill and Ted melvined poor Death!
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Come and see the violence inherent in the system!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
A man picked up a plastic water bottle and filled it to the rim with water. He put a ketchup sachet in it and closed it up. The man approached a woman and said, “If you can solve how this works, I’ll give you a dollar.”
The man said “down” and the sachet of ketchup suddenly went down. Then he said “up” and it went up.  Then he said “down”, and when it was halfway down, he said “stay” and it stayed.  How did he do this?
ANSWER: He did it by adding pressure to the bottom. When there is less pressure, it rises. When there is more pressure, it lowers. If you add just the right pressure, it will stay.  You can perform this with lots of practice in front of a mirror. It will shock your friends, most likely.

You can find a ketchup sachet at your local fast food restaurant (ex: Burger King, McDonald’s, etc.)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Oxy has returned to the building! *crowd applauds*
Task (once again):
Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy
1) Urbane defiance
2) Specific possibility
3) Bogus truth
4) Big tiny
5) Gravely comical
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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