Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday February 9, 2018.  
Bad Literature….
The confidence in his smile… that smile that pulled me in like
ice cream melting down a cone.
With the broken sob of a candy mugged infant, Brett rolled across
the bed into the recently vacated hollow – a depression created by
the recently departed Maria.
Gerald began – but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost
him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else
in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because
for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried
by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash – to pee.
Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny
Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on
a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg
carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly
formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for
experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging
to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only
imagine how fast his spaceship was going.
When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of
Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case
almost immediately, being that the trail of clues led straight to the trainmaster,
who had both the locomotive and the Hopi tuna tea.
India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented
itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because
Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain
of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down
the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.
It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if
we didn’t find water for our emus soon, it wouldn’t be long before we would be
traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting
to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on
hearts, not on marble.  Charles Spurgeon
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth
is putting on its shoes. Charles Spurgeon
A sinner can no more repent and believe without the Holy Spirit’s
aid than he can create a world. Charles Spurgeon
A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy
as an old shoe are generally of little worth.  Charles Spurgeon
Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst
enemies within us. Charles Spurgeon
By perseverance the snail reached the ark. Charles Spurgeon
It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. Charles Spurgeon
Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.Charles Spurgeon
No one is so miserable as the poor person who maintains the
appearance of wealth. Charles Spurgeon
No one knows who is listening, say nothing you would not wish
put in the newspapers. Charles Spurgeon
None are more unjust in their judgments of others than those
who have a high opinion of themselves. Charles Spurgeon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned
around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of
the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the
genie said, “Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However
because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate
the most: your boss.” So the man agreed and made his first wish. “I want lots of money”,
he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man’s bank account and 44 million
appeared in his boss’ account. For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss’ house appeared two of each car. Finally the genie said, “This is your last wish, you should choose carefully”, and so the man replied… “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney…” 😎
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
Vezzini- ‘He didn’t fall! Inconceivable!’
Inigo- ‘You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.’
ANSWER: The Princess Bride!
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘You can’t handle the truth!’
Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 
See if you can figure out the words in this “pyramid” using the hints given below.
Each new word contains the same letters as the previous word, plus a new letter.
1) First letter of the English alphabet
2) Present; attending
3) Loves picnics
4) A small biter
5) Pro ballplayers have one
6) An attracting object
7) An article of clothing
8) A heated debate

1) A
2) At
3) Ant
4) Gnat
5) Agent
6) Magnet
7) Garment
8) Argument
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
We are many guards of a precious gate
Sometimes we lean backward and sometimes we stand straight
Some of us are short and some are tall
We never quit the fight but we might fall
We wear war paint and cover in black
We always defend but never will attack
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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