WELCOME to Tuesday March 27, 2018.
1. My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.
2. When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a ‘flesh wound,’ which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.
3. Nuclear weapons will never go off because something will always happen about three seconds before one does to stop it from exploding.
4. If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.
5. If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.
6. If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.
7. If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or game of any type, I will win. This will infuriate my opponent, who will then try to kill me.
8. If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like ‘Rick,’ or ‘Steve.’
9. Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and ask, “When’s the last time you got any sleep?” They will never ask when I last bathed or used the toilet, although I apparently never do those things either.
10. The aliens will always be overpowered by the humans in the end though their fighting may result in a lot of casualties and destruction.
11. If everyone in a team dies, it’s the last man’s job to win the fight against his enemy.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
ran the 100-meter dash with a time of ‘February.'” -Conan O’Brien
“There’s a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later.
If you’re too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise
them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little
monsters want from us?” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Engineers have crafted a futuristic jet pack that lets you fly up to 10,000 feet in the air.
It even has a cool name: It’s called ‘YOU Try It First.'” -Jimmy Fallon
——————————————————————————————————
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”
The guy stumbles around and says, “No.. umm.. no.. I didn’t. what happened?”
The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after the kids buried him in the backyard we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!”😐
———————————————————————————————————–
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
‘Guns for show, knives for a pro. Is there something you’re not telling us, Soap?’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
1. F _ _ R I _,
2. T H I _ _ _,
3. A _ U _ _ A,
4. _ _ _ I N E,
5. A _ _ _ T E,
6. _ _ _ A C K.
ANSWER: 1. Fabric, 2. Thirst, 3. Alumna, 4. Define, 5. Astute, 6. Hijack
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire
2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect
3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger
4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone
The World According to the Eucman! 