Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

ds54-20WELCOME to Tuesday March 27, 2018.

11 Things I Learned From Action Movies….. 
1.  My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my  father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for  me before I kill him with my bare hands.

2. When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will  never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When  people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a ‘flesh wound,’ which  will be tended to by a beautiful woman.

3. Nuclear weapons will never go off because something will always  happen about three seconds before one does to stop it from exploding.

4. If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.

5. If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.

6. If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.

7. If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or  game of any type, I will win. This will infuriate my opponent, who will  then try to kill me.

8. If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like ‘Rick,’ or ‘Steve.’

9. Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and  ask, “When’s the last time you got any sleep?” They will never ask when I  last bathed or used the toilet, although I apparently never do those  things either.

10. The aliens will always be overpowered by the humans in the end  though their fighting may result in a lot of casualties and destruction.

11. If everyone in a team dies, it’s the last man’s job to win the fight against his enemy.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!


“A 102-year-old woman broke a pair of world track and field records. The 102-year-old
ran the 100-meter dash with a time of ‘February.'” -Conan O’Brien

“There’s a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later.
If you’re too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise
them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little
monsters want from us?” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Engineers have crafted a futuristic jet pack that lets you fly up to 10,000 feet in the air.
It even has a cool name: It’s called ‘YOU Try It First.'” -Jimmy Fallon


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A man comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage on the neighbor’s back porch, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”

The guy stumbles around and says, “No.. umm.. no.. I didn’t. what happened?”

The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after the kids buried him in the backyard we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!”😐


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘Haha you fool! You’ve fallen for one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this: Never go against a Sicillian when DEATH is on the line!’
ANSWER: The Princess Bride!

‘As you wish!’ Such a beautiful movie! Romance for the girls, action for the guys! Rob Reiner’s classic stars Cary Elwes and Robin Wright-Penn). This line comes from the classic scene in which Wesley outsmarts Vencini.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
‘Guns for show, knives for a pro. Is there something you’re not telling us, Soap?’


Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

Complete the words below using three consecutive letters in alphabetical order, e.g. _ _ A _ U S; add A B and C it would become ABACUS.

1. F _ _ R I _,

2. T H I _ _ _,

3. A _ U _ _ A,

4. _ _ _ I N E,

5. A _ _ _ T E,

6. _ _ _ A C K.

ANSWER: 1. Fabric, 2. Thirst, 3. Alumna, 4. Define, 5. Astute, 6. Hijack

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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