Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Monday April 2, 2018.

Think about it!
* Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
* Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.
* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
* The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.
* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
* Money isn’t everything….there’s credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do,don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!


“Language-teaching app Duolingo recently added Klingon to its course selection. By
the way, if you have the Duolingo app on your phone and you use it to learn
Klingon, you can delete Tinder.” -Conan O’Brien

“There was some exciting science news today, researchers say they discovered a new
human organ they are calling the interstitium. It’s a layer underneath the skin and they
believe it’s the largest organ in the human body. But the discovery of the interstitium is
very exciting. It allows someone like me to say, “I’m not overweight,
I’m just big-interstitiumed.'” -James Corden

“A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results
of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door.” -Seth Meyers


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves sane by repeating, “As long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.”
But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn’t afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it. “That’s just great!” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all!” 😐

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Fresh breath is the priority of my life.’

ANSWER: Sixteen Candles!

John Hughes film starring Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall, among others. Young John and Joan Cusack also make appearances.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
‘Why does Andrew get to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up, it’ll be anarchy!’


Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

“One of the volcanoes on the Hawaiian islands just erupted and sent all kinds of rock and ash into the air! I just saw it on the news!”, Fred spouted, running into the room. Everyone paid close attention to the television set as they changed it to the news channel. Liz, knowing that isn’t true said, “Hawaii? I think not”. How did Liz know the eruption never happened?😎


The type of volcano on Hawaii is a “Shield” volcano, and the volcano Fred explained is a “Composite” volcano.

A shield volcano has slowly flowing lava with no ash spouting out. Every volcano on Hawaii is this way. On the other hand a composite volcano shoots out rock and ash, with a small amount of lava. A good example would be Mt. St. Helen’s. If a composite volcano were to erupt it would not be on Hawaii.

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word into 9 separate letters and
place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word, a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.


1. _ A _ I _ N _
2. _ O _ N _
3. _ C _

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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